Skip to main content

Feather-brained with a nearly empty nest

When my nest was full and a flurry of near-constant activity, I had it together. I could nearly effortlessly balance the demands of being an overly-involved mother of three,supportive spouse, community volunteer, freelance writer and social butterfly. I was often busy  but I felt focused. I could handle the demands of many; many people and many organizations. If someone needed a volunteer - I was their woman. And I would get the job done. If the kids needed a chaperon for a field trip they'd often volunteer me without asking knowing that I'd do it.

Now the nest is emptying, with only one not-so-little Piggins at home. And she is rarely in the nest, busy with the life of a high-school senior. That's the way it should be, I know, yet it seems so strange. 

I know that a lot of my fellow moms know about which I write. Can I get an Amen?!

I've been anticipating these days. But it doesn't mean I prepared for them. When I was expecting Michael, I read every book or magazine I could get my chubby pregnant hands on - to be prepared. While expecting Matthew, I did some speed-reading of all those tomes and added books or articles about the arrival of number 2. And while expecting Delaney, I shopped for baby items that were not blue and may have by then had access to some articles on iVillage.com since like Delaney, the Internet was in its infancy. While all my preparation didn't fully prepare me, I feel completely ill-prepared for this next stage of my life.

Because not only is the nest emptying, but I feel that a few of my brain cells have also flown the coop. My focus isn't as sharp and while that could be because I'm still trying to figure out what is next, it's a foreign experience for me. I'm muddling through and seemingly waiting for the next big thing. I pray daily that God will show me - and then I wonder, did He show me the way and I miss the sign. I pray that it will be as clear as the ones He gave to Moses or Mary, because I might be a little slow on the uptake. (A friend reminded me however that if God is giving you a sign, there will be no mistaking it.)

I have in earnest been writing my book and have four chapters done and the fifth in draft stages and when I sit down to write, I feel completely directed. So maybe that's it. I could become the oldest first-time novelist in history! Perhaps that sense of 'rightness' I feel when writing is the sign. Like I said, 'slow on the uptake'.

I believe after 23 years of focus on others, mostly my wonderful children and hubby, it's a challenge to move that focus onto something else - especially me!! If anyone has suggestions, I am sure open to them!

Comments

It's not a popularity contest, but ...

Ch ... Ch ... Chemo

I was ready. I was prepared. The potential side-effect list was long and one I'd had some familiarity when John went through his treatment.  So I gathered my arsenal. I had my compazine, zofran and antivan. I had my ginger chewables and chicken noodle soup. I was armed and potentially dangerous. So, chemo day with the toxic chemo cocktail starting to do it's job, I envisioned it as either PacMan, eating away at the cancer cells or a Chia Pet, allowing my good cells to thrive. With these visions, (that aren't quite Christmas Eve sugar plums dancing) and tired from the chemo, I went to bed early. Friday, under the watchful eye of my caregiving hubby, I slept most of the day away. Not really hungry but not nauseous either. I spent the majority of the day horizontal on the couch listening to my book on Audible (despite the sleep timer, I probably missed 1/3 of what I 'read'), dozing, answering calls and texts, and snacking.  Perhaps the highlight of the ...

The "I'll Nevers" of growing older

  Years ago as a freelance writer, I submitted an essay entitled "The I'll Nevers of Parenting". It was a list, mostly, of things I had said prior to having children and the crow I was then eating because of the stupidity of the claims. You know little pearls of 'wisdom' that only someone who hasn't experienced the joys of  parenting could utter, like: I will never yell at my child in public or I will never let my child eat dinner in front of the television or my children will never stay up past 9 pm. I yelled at my children (usually when we were both tired and totally irrational!) in public. One time, as we were in the drop off lane at school with a long line of cars behind us, the boys hoped out of the car but Delaney was insisting on something that for the life of me I cannot recall and I was insisting that she get out of the van. We crept along, van door still open, until I got to the end of the line and yelled at the top of my voice, "Delaney get the...

Values - pass it on.

If you have read my blog in the past or know me at all, you know that sports in general and football in particular are not one of my favorite things to watch. Unless of course, one of my sons is playing - then get out of my way as I cheer them on! It is with a lot of frustration that I have seen more televised football games in recent weeks than there are hairs on my head. Okay that might be a slight exaggeration - but only slight . So if you're like me, you have seen the plethora of commercials from the Foundation for a Better Life. They are wonderful, heartfelt little life snippets - and they all end with the tag line, "Values, pass it on." Some of the most memorable are: The girl with Downs syndrome that is crowned prom queen. The skater 'dude' that is seen running through the alleys and streets with a woman's purse in his hands until he gets to the city bus where he gives the purse to a woman that is disembarking. He says, "You left this on the b...