Skip to main content

Feather-brained with a nearly empty nest

When my nest was full and a flurry of near-constant activity, I had it together. I could nearly effortlessly balance the demands of being an overly-involved mother of three,supportive spouse, community volunteer, freelance writer and social butterfly. I was often busy  but I felt focused. I could handle the demands of many; many people and many organizations. If someone needed a volunteer - I was their woman. And I would get the job done. If the kids needed a chaperon for a field trip they'd often volunteer me without asking knowing that I'd do it.

Now the nest is emptying, with only one not-so-little Piggins at home. And she is rarely in the nest, busy with the life of a high-school senior. That's the way it should be, I know, yet it seems so strange. 

I know that a lot of my fellow moms know about which I write. Can I get an Amen?!

I've been anticipating these days. But it doesn't mean I prepared for them. When I was expecting Michael, I read every book or magazine I could get my chubby pregnant hands on - to be prepared. While expecting Matthew, I did some speed-reading of all those tomes and added books or articles about the arrival of number 2. And while expecting Delaney, I shopped for baby items that were not blue and may have by then had access to some articles on iVillage.com since like Delaney, the Internet was in its infancy. While all my preparation didn't fully prepare me, I feel completely ill-prepared for this next stage of my life.

Because not only is the nest emptying, but I feel that a few of my brain cells have also flown the coop. My focus isn't as sharp and while that could be because I'm still trying to figure out what is next, it's a foreign experience for me. I'm muddling through and seemingly waiting for the next big thing. I pray daily that God will show me - and then I wonder, did He show me the way and I miss the sign. I pray that it will be as clear as the ones He gave to Moses or Mary, because I might be a little slow on the uptake. (A friend reminded me however that if God is giving you a sign, there will be no mistaking it.)

I have in earnest been writing my book and have four chapters done and the fifth in draft stages and when I sit down to write, I feel completely directed. So maybe that's it. I could become the oldest first-time novelist in history! Perhaps that sense of 'rightness' I feel when writing is the sign. Like I said, 'slow on the uptake'.

I believe after 23 years of focus on others, mostly my wonderful children and hubby, it's a challenge to move that focus onto something else - especially me!! If anyone has suggestions, I am sure open to them!

Comments

It's not a popularity contest, but ...

Friday Night Lights

Friday night lights were blazing last week - when for the first time in the history of our little town, the Saugatuck Indians clinched the district title! You can see the sheer joy on Matthew's face and the pride in his father's eyes in the picture above. Leading up to and during the game, there were several things that made the victory even more sweet. The first being that the sports writers in the area, to a person, all predicted the opponents, Climax-Scotts, to win. They'd had a perfect season - until Friday. The second was that we had to travel quite a distance (nearly 90 minutes) to get to the game. And the weather was frigid and snow was blowing - thankfully it was blowing towards the Climax-Scotts stands and was at our backs. And then our quarterback injured his shoulder and had to sit out for a good portion of the game. Thankfully, the replacement quarterback (a sophomore called up for the playoffs from the junior varsity team) did not let the stress effect his ...

When being negative is positive and other wonky 'things' in the time of Covid

The world is upside down and back ass-ward. Know what I mean? I was chatting with a cousin the other day and her potential exposure to the corona virus. I wrote, "I'll say prayers for negative results for all. Don't like negativity but these days negative is a positive." Back ass-ward. Remember when we first went in to shut-down mode in mid-March? We were told that it was to flatten the curve of hospital admissions so that our ICU's didn't run out of capacity and to ease the virus' spread. It felt then like we were in this together, all of us were going to help beat this virus and stay home. (Aside from the run on toilet paper!) We were committed, or so it seemed, and our closets were going to be cleaned, our junk drawers were going to be a thing of the past, our garages/basements/and other yucky places were going to gleam. We were going to read "War and Peace" or "Hamilton" or other weighty tomes that we'd always wanted to read. We...

Vulnerability hangover

I recently blogged about my own #MeToo experiences and then went silent. (At least on the blog). Those posts have been read by over 1000 people, and that's a lot for this tiny little blog about living a life with MS and God and with a sense of humor. Suddenly, I felt like I was living in a world where people that read my blog had x-ray vision and could see my nakedness - but I didn't know who they were. It wasn't a good feeling. And then I heard someone discuss Brene Brown, in particular what she describes as a 'vulnerability hangover'. It's essentially the feeling of regret, like after a night of binge drinking, when you think "What did I do/say?" and then "I think I'll just hide out from the world." If you've never had that experience, kudos to you. It's shame, pure and simple, ugly and raw. So, now I'm on a Brene Brown binge, including all of her TED talks. Including this one on shame:  Brene, listening to shame ...