When my nest was full and a flurry of near-constant activity, I had it together. I could nearly effortlessly balance the demands of being an overly-involved mother of three,supportive spouse, community volunteer, freelance writer and social butterfly. I was often busy but I felt focused. I could handle the demands of many; many people and many organizations. If someone needed a volunteer - I was their woman. And I would get the job done. If the kids needed a chaperon for a field trip they'd often volunteer me without asking knowing that I'd do it.
Now the nest is emptying, with only one not-so-little Piggins at home. And she is rarely in the nest, busy with the life of a high-school senior. That's the way it should be, I know, yet it seems so strange.
I know that a lot of my fellow moms know about which I write. Can I get an Amen?!
I've been anticipating these days. But it doesn't mean I prepared for them. When I was expecting Michael, I read every book or magazine I could get my chubby pregnant hands on - to be prepared. While expecting Matthew, I did some speed-reading of all those tomes and added books or articles about the arrival of number 2. And while expecting Delaney, I shopped for baby items that were not blue and may have by then had access to some articles on iVillage.com since like Delaney, the Internet was in its infancy. While all my preparation didn't fully prepare me, I feel completely ill-prepared for this next stage of my life.
Because not only is the nest emptying, but I feel that a few of my brain cells have also flown the coop. My focus isn't as sharp and while that could be because I'm still trying to figure out what is next, it's a foreign experience for me. I'm muddling through and seemingly waiting for the next big thing. I pray daily that God will show me - and then I wonder, did He show me the way and I miss the sign. I pray that it will be as clear as the ones He gave to Moses or Mary, because I might be a little slow on the uptake. (A friend reminded me however that if God is giving you a sign, there will be no mistaking it.)
I have in earnest been writing my book and have four chapters done and the fifth in draft stages and when I sit down to write, I feel completely directed. So maybe that's it. I could become the oldest first-time novelist in history! Perhaps that sense of 'rightness' I feel when writing is the sign. Like I said, 'slow on the uptake'.
I believe after 23 years of focus on others, mostly my wonderful children and hubby, it's a challenge to move that focus onto something else - especially me!! If anyone has suggestions, I am sure open to them!
Now the nest is emptying, with only one not-so-little Piggins at home. And she is rarely in the nest, busy with the life of a high-school senior. That's the way it should be, I know, yet it seems so strange.
I know that a lot of my fellow moms know about which I write. Can I get an Amen?!
I've been anticipating these days. But it doesn't mean I prepared for them. When I was expecting Michael, I read every book or magazine I could get my chubby pregnant hands on - to be prepared. While expecting Matthew, I did some speed-reading of all those tomes and added books or articles about the arrival of number 2. And while expecting Delaney, I shopped for baby items that were not blue and may have by then had access to some articles on iVillage.com since like Delaney, the Internet was in its infancy. While all my preparation didn't fully prepare me, I feel completely ill-prepared for this next stage of my life.
Because not only is the nest emptying, but I feel that a few of my brain cells have also flown the coop. My focus isn't as sharp and while that could be because I'm still trying to figure out what is next, it's a foreign experience for me. I'm muddling through and seemingly waiting for the next big thing. I pray daily that God will show me - and then I wonder, did He show me the way and I miss the sign. I pray that it will be as clear as the ones He gave to Moses or Mary, because I might be a little slow on the uptake. (A friend reminded me however that if God is giving you a sign, there will be no mistaking it.)
I have in earnest been writing my book and have four chapters done and the fifth in draft stages and when I sit down to write, I feel completely directed. So maybe that's it. I could become the oldest first-time novelist in history! Perhaps that sense of 'rightness' I feel when writing is the sign. Like I said, 'slow on the uptake'.
I believe after 23 years of focus on others, mostly my wonderful children and hubby, it's a challenge to move that focus onto something else - especially me!! If anyone has suggestions, I am sure open to them!
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