The Glass is Half-Full

After a recent chemo, where I was chaperoned by the always affable and charming Chris, my nurse Alicia queried “Who will be bringing you next time?” Truly, the entire oncology staff was not only charmed by Chris, they were amazed at the intricate cross stitch stocking she was working on and then awed that it was her third and final work of art.  I responded to Alicia (a new friend, really) that another friend would be bringing me and she remarked something like “you have a lot of wonderful friends”. To wit, I agree! Chris commented, “yes she does! Chemo with Kathleen!” Chemo with Kathleen. Sounds like a title to a book like "Tuesdays with Morrie" or "Me Before You", great books about friends stepping up to help a friend through illness and/or treatment. Only difference in this case would be that this sickie lives on to make more friends and to treasure the ones she has.  What I’m discovering on these chemo days, aside from all the vital medical stuff...

I recently blogged about my own #MeToo experiences and then went silent. (At least on the blog). Those posts have been read by over 1000 people, and that's a lot for this tiny little blog about living a life with MS and God and with a sense of humor. Suddenly, I felt like I was living in a world where people that read my blog had x-ray vision and could see my nakedness - but I didn't know who they were. It wasn't a good feeling. And then I heard someone discuss Brene Brown, in particular what she describes as a 'vulnerability hangover'. It's essentially the feeling of regret, like after a night of binge drinking, when you think "What did I do/say?" and then "I think I'll just hide out from the world." If you've never had that experience, kudos to you. It's shame, pure and simple, ugly and raw. So, now I'm on a Brene Brown binge, including all of her TED talks. Including this one on shame:  Brene, listening to shame ...