I've been in my wheelchair now for over a year - sometimes it seems like 20 and others times seems like days. Depends on a lot of things including my mood for the day (whether my 'get-up-and-go' got up and went), the weather (let's face it even the heartiest of Michiganders don't always want to venture out in blustery, snowy or icy days) and what's on the agenda (if I have a date with my hubby or going to see the not-so-little Piggins).
Another variable, about my attitude towards the wheelchair, however is what I believe I will receive from some people when they see me in the wheelchair. What I mean is, some people see ME in a wheelchair and others see me in a WHEELCHAIR. Many times someone will see me coming and give me a look of sorrow or pity - it's a look that gets under my skin and makes me want to scream "You don't see me -I'm not pitiful I'm in a wheelchair!" (actually, what I want to scream sometimes includes a few four-letter words!) I am still the same Kathleen Piggins - sometimes brash, sometimes funny, sometimes mellow, sometimes theatrical and always strong-willed. (John likes to call me stubborn, but I'm strong-willed and there's a difference!) So when I get that look of pity, I know for sure they don't know me, and all they see is the wheelchair.
My sister, Kerri, has had a few more years than me four-wheeling and I have learned a lot while watching her gracefully navigate this world while rolling. One thing for certain, after you spend just a short while with Kerri, you forget she's in a wheelchair - almost nothing stops her (she IS stubborn!) and her beautiful smile and quick wit soon charm the most irascible. But she, too, has received the sorrowful look and I once asked her (this was before I was rolling too) how she handled it. And she told me to just ignore it that some people just don't understand. So, I'm trying to ignore those looks from people but I thought I'd use my blog to let the gazillion readers (give or take a few million!) know a few points of etiquette:
~ When you see a person in a wheelchair - don't stare! (Children do it frequently and they often ask about my 'stroller' and that's okay. Not so much from an adult. And yes it happens.)
~ When you see a person in a wheelchair - don't give them a look of sorrow or pity. Most don't want your pity, we don't want to be seen as pitiful or different.
~ If you see a person four-wheeling that is struggling to do something like open a door or navigate a ramp - don't just open the door or give them a push, ask them first if they would like help. It feels more respectful.
~ If you're using a public restroom and there are plenty of open stalls, don't take the accessible stall because you never know when someone might roll in and the accessible stall is the only one they can use.
I know as soon as I finish this, I will think of a few more points of etiquette. Feel free to add them below (if you have any). Or if you have a question, post it here too - if I don't have an answer I'll ask someone wiser.
Got to go sip from my half-full glass!
Another variable, about my attitude towards the wheelchair, however is what I believe I will receive from some people when they see me in the wheelchair. What I mean is, some people see ME in a wheelchair and others see me in a WHEELCHAIR. Many times someone will see me coming and give me a look of sorrow or pity - it's a look that gets under my skin and makes me want to scream "You don't see me -I'm not pitiful I'm in a wheelchair!" (actually, what I want to scream sometimes includes a few four-letter words!) I am still the same Kathleen Piggins - sometimes brash, sometimes funny, sometimes mellow, sometimes theatrical and always strong-willed. (John likes to call me stubborn, but I'm strong-willed and there's a difference!) So when I get that look of pity, I know for sure they don't know me, and all they see is the wheelchair.
My sister, Kerri, has had a few more years than me four-wheeling and I have learned a lot while watching her gracefully navigate this world while rolling. One thing for certain, after you spend just a short while with Kerri, you forget she's in a wheelchair - almost nothing stops her (she IS stubborn!) and her beautiful smile and quick wit soon charm the most irascible. But she, too, has received the sorrowful look and I once asked her (this was before I was rolling too) how she handled it. And she told me to just ignore it that some people just don't understand. So, I'm trying to ignore those looks from people but I thought I'd use my blog to let the gazillion readers (give or take a few million!) know a few points of etiquette:
~ When you see a person in a wheelchair - don't stare! (Children do it frequently and they often ask about my 'stroller' and that's okay. Not so much from an adult. And yes it happens.)
~ When you see a person in a wheelchair - don't give them a look of sorrow or pity. Most don't want your pity, we don't want to be seen as pitiful or different.
~ If you see a person four-wheeling that is struggling to do something like open a door or navigate a ramp - don't just open the door or give them a push, ask them first if they would like help. It feels more respectful.
~ If you're using a public restroom and there are plenty of open stalls, don't take the accessible stall because you never know when someone might roll in and the accessible stall is the only one they can use.
I know as soon as I finish this, I will think of a few more points of etiquette. Feel free to add them below (if you have any). Or if you have a question, post it here too - if I don't have an answer I'll ask someone wiser.
Got to go sip from my half-full glass!
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