Skip to main content

The glass half full-ish




 I am not sure if its aging, the current state of chaos in the world or something more personal, but I have had a difficult time in the past couple years finding the positive in everything. It used to be my superpower. Hence the title of the blog, the glass is half-full.


Instead, I find myself struggling to find that positivity in all things. Its like my superpower has been voided by kryptonite or something sinister. And as its happened I've simply succumbed like a weak-assed ninny, laying down my the shield that protected my positive mindset and opening it up to the onslaught of skepticism and mistrust. The durability of my positive mindset was replaced with an attitude of 'oh what the hell-ism'. My desire to go out in the world and conquer all curmudgeons with my steadfast will to make them smile has been overcome by the that ever-forceful and evil lassitude.

While I've not reached that state of my glass being half empty, its more like the glass is half full-ish. You know its like, 'hey I can see a positive but who cares, it's not going to make any difference.'

Ugly truth. And I don't know how to reverse it, frankly. 

I haven't been writing much and was inspired by my Aunt who told me that she now sits down daily and just writes. Lightbulb - I will start and maybe that voice, you know that one I've written in for years the one with a little wisdom, a little hope and a whole lot of snark, will come back. And when I can once again write with it, I'll be able to once again live with it. The writing will be the match to light that the flame.

So that will be my plan. Take a few moments every day to sit my ass down in front of my computer and write my way to a fuller glass and a fuller life.

#theglassishalffull

#msadvocate


Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

It's not a popularity contest, but ...

Ten Year

When I was in junior high school, I staged a sit-in and learned about 'ten year'. This will come as a total surprise to most of you readers - I was not a perfectly well behaved child. I know, I know - you're shocked, amazed, in wonder how I could have turned out to be so well-behaved despite the oats sown in my youth.  And the sit-in is a perfect example of how I marched to the beat of my own drummer. Miss Brown was an English teacher - and not a very popular one. She would invoke the yardstick on wayward student's hands and scowl the moment we walked into the classroom. We weren't very kind to Miss Brown but then she wasn't very kind to us, either. Personally, the hardest part of having Miss Brown as an English teacher is that she nearly ruined my love of my favorite topic in school. It was the year we were to learn grammar (have I ever mentioned that as a writer I detest grammar?). I think some new way of teaching English was introduced and in all l...
5 comments
Read more

Blubbering Idiot

While doing crunches this morning, I turned on the TV to keep my mind off the exercise I was about to do and the movie "Gran Torino" was playing. It was nearly 3/4 of the way done. Perfect, I thought, I can watch the end of one of my newest favorite movies. Fifteen minutes later, I'm a puddle of tears on the floor. The end of that movie dissolves me to tears every time - and I think I've seen it now about six or seven times. When Clint Eastwood's character goes about his last day - including a lame confession with the priest - locking 'Toad' in the basement, I begin to get weepy. SCENE SPOILER ALERT ! But when he is shot down and is splayed as though crucified on the cross, I become a blubbering idiot. So much softness and sacrifice in one so tough and gruff - it highlights the intensity of his sacrifice for his new family next door. I only need watch the last few minutes of "Gran Torino" to get the full emotional effect. The same can be said...
4 comments
Read more

Hair today gone tomorrow

Before you all begin to think I’m breezing completely through chemo, let me remind you of this:   For the most part I am bald. Or if not completely bald, fuzzy headed, and not in the way I think or am thinking, but in the appearance. A little like a hedgehog or a porcupine with bald patches. On Super Bowl Sunday while most of you were overeating or filling out those little squares to wager on the upcoming game, John and I were having a unique pre-game party. In front of our bathroom mirror with clippers and scissors. Preparing for the certainty of hair loss from my chemo, I decided to buzz my locks to lessen the shock and mess of of losing large chunks of my silver, shoulder-length hair. It was in all honesty one of the most poignant moments in our 30+  year marriage. I had originally asked my friend and former stylist if she could do it . But when I shared my plan with John, he said that he wanted to do it. Certainly that was not expected. So instead of watching th...
5 comments
Read more