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The Peri-Empty Nest Years

I am in the midst of a 'peri-empty nest syndrome'. Don't bother wondering where that syndrome came from - I just made it up. It's a combination of perimenopause and something else I can't quite remember right now. But that something I forgot was some sort of syndrome.

My nest is slowly emptying. Michael is away at college and comes home on breaks; though he may get an internship this summer and not be home at all. Matthew as a junior is looking at colleges and is busy with a myriad of activities and friends and is home between the two (activities and friends). Delaney is busy with rehearsals, practices and friends in Holland - her new high school is there.

And I am the mama bird at home in the nest that still needs to be cared for watching her birdies fly away or on test runs for the big fly-off. It is a strange feeling.

Everyone I know that's an empty nester says it's great after the initial shock wears off (the dads say it takes about 30 minutes, the moms say it takes about 24 hours). I imagine that I will feel the same since I believe that John and I prepared the three-not-so-little Piggins well and I pray daily that they will continue on the right paths. I am sure I will shed more than a few tears as each step off and fly away; but I will turn back to the nest, sigh and find solace in something that requires my attention and fills my heart and mind.

It's the time right before that's filled with melancholy. I have spent the vast majority of the past 20 years parenting; and at times it was my full-time job with no other employment outside the home. My life has been full of their schedules, needs, interests and joy. They need me less now - they need be to be there for them but they don't need me to 'fix' things for them or do much more than drive and cook.

It's also a time that's filled with great joy. I am in awe at the people they are becoming and very much enjoy talking with each of them! They are smart, funny and talented  - people that I would want to be friends with if they weren't my children. I can think of a hundred times recently when I laughed at something they said or marvel at an insight they've had.

When I was pregnant with Michael, I read "What to Expect When Expecting" and then read "What to Expect the First Year". I picked both books up occasionally with Matthew and Delaney because each child is unique. They were great references for me and answered quite a few questions along the way. I think I need to read (maybe I should write?), "What to Expect When Your Nest is Emptying"! Because like pregnancy and parenting, there is little to prepare you for this stage of life!

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