Skip to main content

The Peri-Empty Nest Years

I am in the midst of a 'peri-empty nest syndrome'. Don't bother wondering where that syndrome came from - I just made it up. It's a combination of perimenopause and something else I can't quite remember right now. But that something I forgot was some sort of syndrome.

My nest is slowly emptying. Michael is away at college and comes home on breaks; though he may get an internship this summer and not be home at all. Matthew as a junior is looking at colleges and is busy with a myriad of activities and friends and is home between the two (activities and friends). Delaney is busy with rehearsals, practices and friends in Holland - her new high school is there.

And I am the mama bird at home in the nest that still needs to be cared for watching her birdies fly away or on test runs for the big fly-off. It is a strange feeling.

Everyone I know that's an empty nester says it's great after the initial shock wears off (the dads say it takes about 30 minutes, the moms say it takes about 24 hours). I imagine that I will feel the same since I believe that John and I prepared the three-not-so-little Piggins well and I pray daily that they will continue on the right paths. I am sure I will shed more than a few tears as each step off and fly away; but I will turn back to the nest, sigh and find solace in something that requires my attention and fills my heart and mind.

It's the time right before that's filled with melancholy. I have spent the vast majority of the past 20 years parenting; and at times it was my full-time job with no other employment outside the home. My life has been full of their schedules, needs, interests and joy. They need me less now - they need be to be there for them but they don't need me to 'fix' things for them or do much more than drive and cook.

It's also a time that's filled with great joy. I am in awe at the people they are becoming and very much enjoy talking with each of them! They are smart, funny and talented  - people that I would want to be friends with if they weren't my children. I can think of a hundred times recently when I laughed at something they said or marvel at an insight they've had.

When I was pregnant with Michael, I read "What to Expect When Expecting" and then read "What to Expect the First Year". I picked both books up occasionally with Matthew and Delaney because each child is unique. They were great references for me and answered quite a few questions along the way. I think I need to read (maybe I should write?), "What to Expect When Your Nest is Emptying"! Because like pregnancy and parenting, there is little to prepare you for this stage of life!

Comments

Post a Comment

It's not a popularity contest, but ...

When an ass is so much more

  Body image. Body positivity.  Or about coming to an appreciation for a previously much maligned back end.  In junior high (that's middle school for all of you non boomers), I was given the nickname "big butt Bowen". It was a nickname that stung because I did indeed have a large ass. I tried to mask it, a difficult endeavor since the current fashion (and remember this is junior high when fitting in was paramount) was wearing hip hugger jeans with midriff tops and my disguise of choice were peasant blouses or dresses. That style choice earned an additional nickname, Mama Cass. For those of you that don't know who Mama Cass was, she was part of the Mamas and Papas and known for her beautiful voice but also for her large body.  All about Mama Cass I was cruelly nicknamed at a time when nicknames can really mess with a girl's psyche. And I spent a lifetime as that girl with the messed up psyche. I'm sure there are more than one of you out there that can relate. B
Post a Comment
Read more

Peter Pan no more

                          It's time. Peter Pan had to grow up.  For nearly 18 months of his life, Matthew dressed in this costume. In this picture it's new, just out of the box. He picked the costume out of a catalog and when it arrived, two weeks prior to Halloween, he asked daily if today was the day he could finally wear his Peter Pan costume. He didn't like the hat and only wore it on Halloween, but the rest of the costume he wore daily! You read that correctly - DAILY. He wore it to Meijer (for those of you unfamiliar with Meijer, it's a cleaner, friendlier, more 'upscale' version of WalMart), to church, to play dates and preschool ... Heck, he was three and adorable and it worked for him!  (Yes you read that correctly, he even wore it to church on one or two occasions when it seemed arguing with a three year old about not wearing a costume to church was not a battle worth waging. He once mentioned the priests wore dresses . . . I don't think Joh
Post a Comment
Read more

Cabin fever made me do it!

Like nearly ever person in West Michigan, I have a serious case of cabin fever.  I won't waste your time however, complaining about the two-hundred feet of snow that's fallen in the last two hours. I won't share about the twenty or thirty times I've had to shovel my walk today as gusts blew it right back in my face. And I certainly will not lament about the temperatures that hover around negative double digits making your nostrils freeze together within moments of stepping outside. To bore you with tales of how we have to shovel areas in our yard so that our large dog and can do his 'duty' because the snow is deeper than he is tall and dogs for whatever reason cannot poop in the same place twice, is not what I will share. You will not hear about how when I open the slider to let aforementioned dog outside, gusts of wind blow drifts of snow inside and require a shovel to once again close the door.  Nor will I share how some roads around here are drifted shut be
Post a Comment
Read more