Skip to main content

I'm a work in progress

I have stopped making official New Year's resolutions because I've never made it past the second week.

I stopped giving 'things' up for Lent because I've rarely made halfway through the 40 days without succumbing. (That Jesus was sure amazing because I've given up things like chocolate or wine but He gave up the essentials, like food and water. And the only tempter I had was a commercial or a walk through the grocery store - with a full stomach and plenty of water to drink. Jesus had Satan, the greatest of tempters, and he certainly had to be hungry and thirsty).

I recently signed up for a 30 Day challenge to lose 12 pounds. Not a monumental task except for the fact that I signed up for it while transitioning to the wheelchair. In winter. With a wheelchair without snow tires that made it especially challenging to get out and about.  Yep, I set myself up for failure on that one! 

On one of the diet plans I tried a few years back, my goal was to lose 40 pounds. I got to 38, and called it good. (By the way, I've lost and gained the same 40 pounds at least four times in my adult life.)

My epic failures do not all relate to weight loss or food either. I have on numerous occasions, promised myself that I would:

     1) Write daily;
     2) Write weekly;
     3) Write.

Like the book I've been working on for the past two years - and I think it's good and might even have a chance to get published - I've promised myself to finish it. This year. Well it's March 17 (Happy St. Patrick's Day, by the way!), and I've worked on it twice. 

I have also made promises to myself to stop swearing. It took three children mimicking my words and about 10 years, but I've largely succeeded except for the occasional damn or hell.

And recently, I promised that I would not focus on politics since it raised my blood pressure and increased my frustration. I promised myself not to post on Facebook anything political. That lasted until the next debate or primary or funny/thought-provoking/amazingly stupid incident in this 'presidential -campaign- like- no- other- presidential- campaign'. #makedonalddrumpfagain
And can you believe that ...  See, I can't even write this paragraph about my pledge to NOT focus on politics without focusing on one of the frustrating aspects.

I am a work in progress. 

I'd like to write that I know my limitations, but clearly that's not true since I keep losing, then gaining the same 40 pounds. Work in progress, I am. Or that my political abstention can't last more than 10 minutes. Working. Progress. Or that while thinking about politics, in addition to raising my blood pressure and breaking that pledge, I'm breaking my 'no swearing' promise and mumbling mild expletives. So much work and so little progress!

So, instead of ending this on a note of defeat and because the glass is half full, I will end this blog post this way.

I wrote today!

Comments

It's not a popularity contest, but ...

Lefties and Other Exceptional People

I have had the opportunity to do a lot of driving lately - back-and-forth to Wabash College and to-and-from Holland, Grand Rapids and East Lansing. It's given me lots of time to think and ponder the greater mysteries of the world; like the purpose of life, why my thumbnails always break first, the speed at which a state police officer will actually pull you over for and the theory of relativity. Oh, not THE theory of Relativity - with a capital 'R", created by Mr. Genius Einstein. No, my own theory of relativity - with a lower case 'r'. Created by this less-than-genius mother of three and wife of one! My theory is that the absolute worst drivers are those that drive exclusively in the left lane (I call them lefties) and the ones that believe the rules of the road apply to everyone except them (I call them exceptional people). I call it my own theory of relativity because these drivers are relatively unaware of how to drive. You know the ones that are going the spe...

Pinball wizard is falling

I've had some unusual titles to my posts, but I'm fairly certain this one takes trumps them all! Hold on, it's going to be a bumpy ride getting to the reason for this wacky title . . . I sat down to pray Sunday and was thankful God knew my heart because the prayers were scattered! I started praying for a friend who'd been in a terrible car accident, and then her husband,and then mine who was traveling to see the husband (his bestie, though I'm fairly certain they would never, ever refer to one another as 'besties' and might instead die of embarrassment at the term), then greater understanding into their bond of friendship. Then I got an answer to the prayer of understanding - brotherhood. So then the prayer bounced to my sons that they have such a bond as their father and his friend, and then on to my son Michael's exams in law school and then on to my daughter who also is heading into exam week for her first year in college in St. Louis. Then the pray...

Poster Child for chemo and freak of nature

I made the comment to my oncologist last week, during my chemo infusion, that I could be a poster child for chemo.  "You pretty much are," she said. I have thus far been sailing through chemo, albeit like a sailboat stuck out in the middle of Lake Michigan when the winds die and it's not moving for three to four days. Because my primary side effect has been extreme fatigue for 3-4 days post chemo. Last Saturday, 2 days post chemo, I took my shower and got dressed and announced to John that I now needed a nap - that kind of fatigue.  And being a woman who has dealt with the fatigue of MS, I thought this chemo kind would be familiar and similar to the exhaustion I feel on a hot summer day where retrieving the mail (our mailbox is at the end of our driveway) while riding my scooter to get it  feels like I've run a 5K. That kind of fatigue. This is the kind that makes it difficult to even get up, needing a nap after getting out of bed. Well that might be a little ...