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Cancer Free

I went into this cancer journey with a positive attitude and with the convictions that it was not going to be a focus of 2019. My focus has been on the wedding of my first-born Michael to the wonderful Carmen.

 Chemo ended on June 10 and gave me the time needed to ‘recover’ before the July 13 wedding. Surgery was scheduled then for July 23 so I’d have the week between to attend to any pre-surgical appointments. What I found,instead on July 14 after the wonderful wedding was anything BUT focus or any desire whatsoever to have to even entertain the smallest thought about cancer or surgery or recovery. I not only didn’t want to entertain those thoughts I wanted to banish them, to get some bouncer to shove them permanently to the curb. (Although in my ‘hood we don’t have curbs).

 So the first appointment I had was with an Occupational Therapist. I couldn’t even recall why the hell I had to meet with an OT and that is pretty much how I started the conversation.
ME:”So, I’m not even sure why I’m here. Or why I have this appointment. Do you?”
OT: “Yes I do. You’re here to discuss post surgical recovery.”
ME :”It’s just an outpatient lumpectomy. What recovery?”

 And this is where my entertaining thoughts started to become kill joys and the post-wedding glow and joy were replaced with something like reality. I had envisioned going back to work the day after surgery but learned I staled that I was going to restricted from certain movements and lifting more that 10 pounds for 2 weeks. My wheelchair weighs in as a bantam weight chair - over 30 pounds and how was I going to get it in and out of my car for my WW Workshops? I hadn’t planned on missing any Workshops so I hadn’t even thought to look for subs to cover.

 My manager (who has been battling breast cancer as well and has been a wonderful advocate and support) came to the rescue securing the needed subs and basically requiring me to take the 2 weeks off. Darn good thing to because while the surgery was outpatient  the pain or discomfort were not- they stayed with me. And my pain threshold is pretty high. 

 So I was smacked into the reality that I had healing to do. But I was also delivered the absolute bestest news ever- that the MRI I had prior to surgery, the pathology of the lymph nodes and the surgeon’s own look at where the tumor had been- confirmed that I am cancer free!!!

 I have had a fairly easy course of treatment, and have been grateful for that all along. And the post-surgical pain is nearly gone. If I have radiation, which is usually the next step, I pray it is uneventful. Because the focus of 2019 got to be the wedding of Michael and Carmen.

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It's not a popularity contest, but ...

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