Skip to main content

Cancer Free

I went into this cancer journey with a positive attitude and with the convictions that it was not going to be a focus of 2019. My focus has been on the wedding of my first-born Michael to the wonderful Carmen.

 Chemo ended on June 10 and gave me the time needed to ‘recover’ before the July 13 wedding. Surgery was scheduled then for July 23 so I’d have the week between to attend to any pre-surgical appointments. What I found,instead on July 14 after the wonderful wedding was anything BUT focus or any desire whatsoever to have to even entertain the smallest thought about cancer or surgery or recovery. I not only didn’t want to entertain those thoughts I wanted to banish them, to get some bouncer to shove them permanently to the curb. (Although in my ‘hood we don’t have curbs).

 So the first appointment I had was with an Occupational Therapist. I couldn’t even recall why the hell I had to meet with an OT and that is pretty much how I started the conversation.
ME:”So, I’m not even sure why I’m here. Or why I have this appointment. Do you?”
OT: “Yes I do. You’re here to discuss post surgical recovery.”
ME :”It’s just an outpatient lumpectomy. What recovery?”

 And this is where my entertaining thoughts started to become kill joys and the post-wedding glow and joy were replaced with something like reality. I had envisioned going back to work the day after surgery but learned I staled that I was going to restricted from certain movements and lifting more that 10 pounds for 2 weeks. My wheelchair weighs in as a bantam weight chair - over 30 pounds and how was I going to get it in and out of my car for my WW Workshops? I hadn’t planned on missing any Workshops so I hadn’t even thought to look for subs to cover.

 My manager (who has been battling breast cancer as well and has been a wonderful advocate and support) came to the rescue securing the needed subs and basically requiring me to take the 2 weeks off. Darn good thing to because while the surgery was outpatient  the pain or discomfort were not- they stayed with me. And my pain threshold is pretty high. 

 So I was smacked into the reality that I had healing to do. But I was also delivered the absolute bestest news ever- that the MRI I had prior to surgery, the pathology of the lymph nodes and the surgeon’s own look at where the tumor had been- confirmed that I am cancer free!!!

 I have had a fairly easy course of treatment, and have been grateful for that all along. And the post-surgical pain is nearly gone. If I have radiation, which is usually the next step, I pray it is uneventful. Because the focus of 2019 got to be the wedding of Michael and Carmen.

Comments

Post a Comment

It's not a popularity contest, but ...

The "I'll Nevers" of growing older

  Years ago as a freelance writer, I submitted an essay entitled "The I'll Nevers of Parenting". It was a list, mostly, of things I had said prior to having children and the crow I was then eating because of the stupidity of the claims. You know little pearls of 'wisdom' that only someone who hasn't experienced the joys of  parenting could utter, like: I will never yell at my child in public or I will never let my child eat dinner in front of the television or my children will never stay up past 9 pm. I yelled at my children (usually when we were both tired and totally irrational!) in public. One time, as we were in the drop off lane at school with a long line of cars behind us, the boys hoped out of the car but Delaney was insisting on something that for the life of me I cannot recall and I was insisting that she get out of the van. We crept along, van door still open, until I got to the end of the line and yelled at the top of my voice, "Delaney get the...
Post a Comment
Read more

Ch ... Ch ... Chemo

I was ready. I was prepared. The potential side-effect list was long and one I'd had some familiarity when John went through his treatment.  So I gathered my arsenal. I had my compazine, zofran and antivan. I had my ginger chewables and chicken noodle soup. I was armed and potentially dangerous. So, chemo day with the toxic chemo cocktail starting to do it's job, I envisioned it as either PacMan, eating away at the cancer cells or a Chia Pet, allowing my good cells to thrive. With these visions, (that aren't quite Christmas Eve sugar plums dancing) and tired from the chemo, I went to bed early. Friday, under the watchful eye of my caregiving hubby, I slept most of the day away. Not really hungry but not nauseous either. I spent the majority of the day horizontal on the couch listening to my book on Audible (despite the sleep timer, I probably missed 1/3 of what I 'read'), dozing, answering calls and texts, and snacking.  Perhaps the highlight of the ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Struggling to not feel like a failure

Okay all of you 'struggling to stand' or 'not wanting to have to use a wheelchair' or others that look upon using a wheelchair as a symbol of failure, you're about to get punched. Punched in the figurative sense. I am about to go on my soap box and my Irish is up which means that I'm fairly peeved (though I've been mulling this over for awhile so I'm not as angry as I once was, which means there will be fewer expletives and a kinder tone). If you've read this blog or know me at all, you know that I did not go easily into using a wheelchair as my primary mode of transport. I too, may have had a little bit of your attitude about the wheelchair being sign of failure or of having given up. My sister, Kerri, helped put it in a different light. She said, and I'm paraphrasing here, "It's actually an energy saver since walking is stressful and you're worried about falling - using a wheelchair will take away a lot of that stress. You will hav...
Post a Comment
Read more