Skip to main content

Love in the time of pandemic

When I first met this man, in 1982 at PT O'Malley's in East Lansing after a miserable loss to Ohio State, I had no idea it was THE pivotal moment of my life and the start of a lifetime journey. If I had known, I would probably have dressed better and had someone take a picture of us dancing in front of the jukebox (before I chose to dip without telling him and we both landed on the floor!).

I started to get the idea, however, that he was my life-partner later that night when he asked if he could drive me home and I said yes. Prior to my agreement, I probably should have ascertained where he parked - because we had to walk from the pub on Grand River Avenue to the back-forty, commuter lot on the other side of campus. For those unfamiliar with MSU's campus in the '80s, it was about a gazillion miles!! We never made it, because we were going slow talking, laughing and kissing that once we got about half-way we stopped in to a dorm to call a taxi (this was back before cell phones and Uber, when you had to have a dime to use a pay phone!).

And it was along that walk and subsequent ride, that I had an inkling I could spend the rest of my life talking and laughing and kissing with John Piggins. We clicked and married in 1988, 32 years ago today!

After 32 years of marriage, I can honestly say that it's sweet to get to this point in our marriage too because the love is deeper and the relationship easier and more solid than I could have ever imagined on that fateful fall day. To have such a wonderful,substantial, constant love and support is a blessing - especially amidst this pandemic. It's a comfort too, for me as a woman full of self-doubt, to have John my self-declared 'biggest fan' by my side. Our greatest 'achievement' as a couple is not as some might think I'd claim the three not-so-little Piggins, it's that we have made it to 32 years of marriage and we are still in love with one another. Who could have guessed when they saw us puddled on the floor, laughing at our folly, in front of the jukebox at PT O'Malley's? (Damn, I'm grateful there weren't cell phones to record THAT!!)

Together we have battled throat cancer, breast cancer, heart issues, prostate cancer and multiple sclerosis. We have grieved over the loss of loved ones together. We have successfully so far raised three children to be wonderful young adults. We have lived in three different homes and different cities. We have had a few job changes and been unemployed. We have traveled to London and Ireland (pics above) and oodles of places closer to home. We have had one son get married to a wonderful life partner (and we pray they have as many years together!). We have a son live abroad in Uganda and London (talk about gratitude for cell phones and Facetime). And we have a daughter living her passion for theater and making her living in it as well. And we have a deep faith in God and we know that we can lean on and trust God's guidance in our lives.
We have this life together. Life together.

Happy 32 years, John. I love you deeply, passionately and strongly. You are my life partner, best friend and right now, a pretty damn good coworker as we quarantine together.

Comments

  1. What a wonderful story....and yes, that is a long walk across campus.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

It's not a popularity contest, but ...

Lefties and Other Exceptional People

I have had the opportunity to do a lot of driving lately - back-and-forth to Wabash College and to-and-from Holland, Grand Rapids and East Lansing. It's given me lots of time to think and ponder the greater mysteries of the world; like the purpose of life, why my thumbnails always break first, the speed at which a state police officer will actually pull you over for and the theory of relativity. Oh, not THE theory of Relativity - with a capital 'R", created by Mr. Genius Einstein. No, my own theory of relativity - with a lower case 'r'. Created by this less-than-genius mother of three and wife of one! My theory is that the absolute worst drivers are those that drive exclusively in the left lane (I call them lefties) and the ones that believe the rules of the road apply to everyone except them (I call them exceptional people). I call it my own theory of relativity because these drivers are relatively unaware of how to drive. You know the ones that are going the spe...

Rolling, Rolling, Rolling

I put my pride aside and got my ass off the grass and into the wheelchair. {I spent a couple minutes deciding whether to put an exclamation mark after that declaration or to put the period after that statement. I think the period better suits my mood about getting said ass into the wheelchair!} On July 4, Saugatuck has a wonderfully unique parade that includes quirky participants like the artsy-fartsy campers at OxBow art colony and the LGBT members of a local foundation along with the more traditional participants like Girl Scouts, fire trucks, and local politicians. It had been a couple years since I had been to the parade, this year, though, my Mom and sister were in town and I wanted to take them. So we loaded up in the van, including Kerri's wheelchair and my own. Once we parked, John asked if I wanted to use my chair and I initially balked but then remembered that it can be a long, hot parade and it might be better to have a place to sit. So, I acquiesced and took the cha...

Vulnerability hangover

I recently blogged about my own #MeToo experiences and then went silent. (At least on the blog). Those posts have been read by over 1000 people, and that's a lot for this tiny little blog about living a life with MS and God and with a sense of humor. Suddenly, I felt like I was living in a world where people that read my blog had x-ray vision and could see my nakedness - but I didn't know who they were. It wasn't a good feeling. And then I heard someone discuss Brene Brown, in particular what she describes as a 'vulnerability hangover'. It's essentially the feeling of regret, like after a night of binge drinking, when you think "What did I do/say?" and then "I think I'll just hide out from the world." If you've never had that experience, kudos to you. It's shame, pure and simple, ugly and raw. So, now I'm on a Brene Brown binge, including all of her TED talks. Including this one on shame:  Brene, listening to shame ...