Skip to main content

Love in the time of pandemic

When I first met this man, in 1982 at PT O'Malley's in East Lansing after a miserable loss to Ohio State, I had no idea it was THE pivotal moment of my life and the start of a lifetime journey. If I had known, I would probably have dressed better and had someone take a picture of us dancing in front of the jukebox (before I chose to dip without telling him and we both landed on the floor!).

 I started to get the idea, however, that he was my life-partner later that night when he asked if he could drive me home and I said yes. Prior to my agreement, I probably should have ascertained where he parked - because we had to walk from the pub on Grand River Avenue to the back-forty, commuter lot on the other side of campus. For those unfamiliar with MSU's campus in the '80s, it was about a gazillion miles!! We never made it, because we were going slow talking, laughing and kissing that once we got about half-way we stopped in to a dorm to call a taxi (this was back before cell phones and Uber, when you had to have a dime to use a pay phone!).

 And it was along that walk and subsequent ride, that I had an inkling I could spend the rest of my life talking and laughing and kissing with John Piggins. We clicked and married in 1988, 32 years ago today!

 After 32 years of marriage, I can honestly say that it's sweet to get to this point in our marriage too because the love is deeper and the relationship easier and more solid than I could have ever imagined on that fateful fall day. To have such a wonderful,substantial, constant love and support is a blessing - especially amidst this pandemic. It's a comfort too, for me as a woman full of self-doubt, to have John my self-declared 'biggest fan' by my side. Our greatest 'achievement' as a couple is not as some might think I'd claim the three not-so-little Piggins, it's that we have made it to 32 years of marriage and we are still in love with one another. Who could have guessed when they saw us puddled on the floor, laughing at our folly, in front of the jukebox at PT O'Malley's? (Damn, I'm grateful there weren't cell phones to record THAT!!)

 Together we have battled throat cancer, breast cancer, heart issues, prostate cancer and multiple sclerosis. We have grieved over the loss of loved ones together. We have successfully so far raised three children to be wonderful young adults. We have lived in three different homes and different cities. We have had a few job changes and been unemployed. We have traveled to London and Ireland (pics above) and oodles of places closer to home. We have had one son get married to a wonderful life partner (and we pray they have as many years together!). We have a son live abroad in Uganda and London (talk about gratitude for cell phones and Facetime). And we have a daughter living her passion for theater and making her living in it as well. And we have a deep faith in God and we know that we can lean on and trust God's guidance in our lives.
We have this life together. Life together.

 Happy 32 years, John. I love you deeply, passionately and strongly. You are my life partner, best friend and right now, a pretty damn good coworker as we quarantine together.
Labels:

Comments

  1. UnknownApril 14, 2020 at 6:58 AM

    What a wonderful story....and yes, that is a long walk across campus.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

It's not a popularity contest, but ...

Don't cry for me ...

Song lyrics or titles run through my mind to often sum up a situation or add humor to one. Today, it's "Don't Cry for Me Argentina". Only today the title is "Don't cry for me anybody"! I mean, I get it, that people feel bad that I've got breast cancer and that I've been living with MS for nearly 27 years. And I've had other issues that I've blogged about related to #metoo. I get that it seems like a lot looking in from the outside. I hear your comments and appreciate your support. But here's the thing, it doesn't feel overwhelming to me, looking out from the inside. Know what I mean? I live the life that I've been dealt and do it with the personality and faith I've been given. Which means, I could do one of the following: A. Have a miserable, pity-me attitude that would lead to being  miserable; B. Lean into my troubles and seek answers constantly either through research or angrily with God, which would lea...
1 comment
Read more

Navigating the world while four-wheeling

Rain, rain, go away. Don't come back another day. My hair is frizzy. Barometric pressure makes me dizzy. If I go out, wet I'll be. No umbrella hand free to protect me. I'm no Longfellow! And I don't think I'd win a poetry slam, but you get the idea. Rainy days, even when they're not Mondays, get me down. Because when you're navigating the world while four-wheeling, rain presents additional challenges. Last week, for example, the wind was blowing hard enough to blow my wheelchair seat cushion off my car where I'd placed it while removing my chair. It landed in a puddle, upside down, and rested there long enough that the absorbent material in the comfy cushion absorbed quite a bit of water. I may have let an expletive fly, because a store clerk who was standing up against the window under the protective eave, smoking a cigarette and looking at her phone, actually looked up. She didn't come to my aid, but she looked up. Thankful...
Post a Comment
Read more

Silenced

In April of 2010, I witnessed firsthand the pain and sorrow that comes with losing your voice. John had been in treatment for throat cancer for about a month and the radiation treatment burned his mouth and throat gradually making it more and more painful to talk. As we'd been married for 22 years, we could could communicate most things by gestures and looks (all you long-married couples know what I'm talking about!). But on Easter Sunday, when the congregation stood and began to sing     , John was silent. I sang the first verse along with the congregation, but the knowledge of why John was not singing, that he was silenced, hit me like a tsunami and I began to struggle to hold back the tears on what was supposed to be a joyful Christian celebration. Cancer had rendered by husband's voice mute. Since November, I too have been struggling to find my voice. My written voice. The sometimes funny, sometimes insightful, almost-always positive voice that I've used in thi...
Post a Comment
Read more