The Glass is Half-Full

I am thrilled to have something positive and affirming to focus on - the results of John's PET scan came back and it shows all clear!! The Ziggy cloud seems to be moving and I feel I can see the sun!!! It was the light at the end of the tunnel that has been guiding us along the way. We will celebrate with a dinner out on Saturday - and I'm sure it will be an ongoing celebration each time we are reminded, again, about the good news. The past six months have been an arduous lesson in what is really important in this life. We took Michael back to school on Tuesday - and this year was a lot less emotional for this mom. Maybe it's because I'm numb from the many tests endured this year. Maybe it was less disquieting because it was his second year and we knew it was a good place for Michael. Maybe it was on account that his housemates were upstanding and quite likable. Maybe because Michael, himself, was so eager to return. Most likely, however, is the combination of the all o

The past two days have passed with little joy and I find that I'm restless and cannot focus. I don't like being home because of the thousand reminders of my sweet Sandy and yet I can't be away because I don't feel like engaging in anything other than my own personal sorrow. Yes, she was 'just a dog' but oh what a dog she was. . . I learned a lot about loyalty and unconditional love from Sandy. And in that, I believe that God gives us these loving dogs so that we can learn a little about His love for us - that unconditional love. Even on my worst day when I might not have been paying much attention to Sandy, she was still there and still loving. Wow. There is no doubt in my mind that putting her down and out of her misery was the right thing for Sandy - she must have been so riddled with cancer and in such pain. Her last day she couldn't even keep water down; I imagine that her entire body must have been affected by the cancer. Then I think back to her last d

Even before we got her, I knew what she would look like and we, as a family, had even decided on her name. Because she was going to be a sandy color and we live near the beach we decided that Sandy was the ideal name. It really didn't take a whole lot of debate, which is a rarity in this home! And then when we saw her - I knew. She was small enough that she almost fit in the palm of my hand and as I held her, I looked in those big, brown eyes and she calmly looked back. We shared a moment. And it is that moment that I keep remembering as today creeps slowly by - knowing that my dear, sweet Sandy will not be with this family or on this earth much longer. I am relishing that moment - it was the beginning. We have had a couple similar moments today - when I have been petting her and she looks up at me with the same love and loyalty I've cherished for seven years. We learned this morning that she has cancer - and has likely had it for some time. The vet, Dr. Jim, was compassionate

I am the proud parent of three wonderful children - 19, 16 & 13. Can't even say they're children anymore, really - but they're my children. Through these many years I have had occasion to experience the intense pain that comes to parents when one of their children is hurt - by friends or circumstances. One would think that once your 'children' are no longer 'children' that these painful experiences would abate. Not so - seems the bigger the 'child' the bigger the hurt. At least for this parent! On two occasions this summer my 19-year-old was dissed by supposed friends. Now if this had happened when he was younger - I might have called the offending friend's parents and had a little chat. But you can't do that when your child is no longer a child. Instead, you have to stand helplessly by and hold back the tears and feel the burning inside that is your heart breaking. And then, if you're a parent like me who likes to write and finds so

Grace has never been one of my characteristics - physical grace that is. So when multiple sclerosis made me even klutzier, I should have been able to mentally handle the number of falls. After all, I've been tripping for years and have usually managed to maintain my sense of humor. One particular occasion had me nearly running into a corporate conference room for an important sales presentation and tripping over the carpet ledge; all the materials in my arms went flying - scattering across the conference table and landing nearly perfectly in front of the six executives waiting around the table. A little curtsy and a comical "Ta-Dah" and the tension was quickly broken. If I remember correctly, I landed the sizeable sale and the client often referred back to my entrance as a great sales ploy! Today, however, I found it difficult to laugh after landing once again on my knees. In front of the same exact restaurant/bar that I had tripped in front of the previous week. I thoug