Skip to main content

When Our Kids are Hurt

I am the proud parent of three wonderful children - 19, 16 & 13. Can't even say they're children anymore, really - but they're my children. Through these many years I have had occasion to experience the intense pain that comes to parents when one of their children is hurt - by friends or circumstances.

One would think that once your 'children' are no longer 'children' that these painful experiences would abate. Not so - seems the bigger the 'child' the bigger the hurt. At least for this parent! On two occasions this summer my 19-year-old was dissed by supposed friends. Now if this had happened when he was younger - I might have called the offending friend's parents and had a little chat. But you can't do that when your child is no longer a child. Instead, you have to stand helplessly by and hold back the tears and feel the burning inside that is your heart breaking.

And then, if you're a parent like me who likes to write and finds solace in writing, you make your way to the computer and write about it. The burning subsides, just a little. The tears come silently but they come. And then, if you're a parent like me that finds solace in God, you pray that this won't forever dampen your child's love of life or silence his beautiful laugh.

It is all part of growing up - these painful times. These are the times when our children learn how to cope and gain the skills needed to become resourceful adults. Every parent had those experiences - and maybe that's why the pain is searing when we watch our children have these experiences. But it is so hard to stand by, especially this summer when what I really wanted to do was slash the tires of the offenders!

Now, that little bit of honesty felt GREAT!

Comments

It's not a popularity contest, but ...

Rolling, Rolling, Rolling

I put my pride aside and got my ass off the grass and into the wheelchair. {I spent a couple minutes deciding whether to put an exclamation mark after that declaration or to put the period after that statement. I think the period better suits my mood about getting said ass into the wheelchair!} On July 4, Saugatuck has a wonderfully unique parade that includes quirky participants like the artsy-fartsy campers at OxBow art colony and the LGBT members of a local foundation along with the more traditional participants like Girl Scouts, fire trucks, and local politicians. It had been a couple years since I had been to the parade, this year, though, my Mom and sister were in town and I wanted to take them. So we loaded up in the van, including Kerri's wheelchair and my own. Once we parked, John asked if I wanted to use my chair and I initially balked but then remembered that it can be a long, hot parade and it might be better to have a place to sit. So, I acquiesced and took the cha...

The day of the dead - or our recent sightseeing in DC

We spent three days in DC - but only one of those was sightseeing. The first we picked up Delaney at her journalism conference, taking her back to the hotel and letting her nap for a couple hours and then going to dinner at Red Lobster. She took the picture above and was mortified that her parents could be so embarrassing. In other words, we were doing our job as parents - embarrassing our child. that is after all in the parenting contract - "Thou shalt embarrass your offspring on all possible occasions." Our second day, included a tour of American University for Delaney. She loved it - more on that East Coast college tour in a later blog. The third day - we decided to spend our time visiting the Holocaust Museum and Arlington National Cemetery. Hence the title, 'the day of the dead'. We arrived at the museum shortly after they opened and got our scheduled time to visit the main exhibit. I put pride aside and used the wheelchair because I knew that it ...

Down 24

My life has been a lot like this roller coaster. Not just ups and downs, but several twists and turns. Sometimes I am whooping for joy, hands in the air ready for the what lies ahead while at other times I can see a loop or drop coming and the dread is palatable, the nausea is real. And also like a roller coaster is my weight. I've never been svelte but I have been within the BMI range. I have also been overweight and more recently the scale put me in the obese category. And that should have scared me into action but instead I just made excuses or rationalizations like "It's because I use a wheelchair to get around," or "I'm sure once X happens I'll lose that weight," or (my favorite) "It's just water weight/constipation". (Like all I needed was one really good poop and I'd be at my target weight! No plunger in the world could have worked! Like comedian Ron White says 'Just one really good dump from a new pant si...