Skip to main content

Patient no more!

I am thrilled to have something positive and affirming to focus on - the results of John's PET scan came back and it shows all clear!! The Ziggy cloud seems to be moving and I feel I can see the sun!!! It was the light at the end of the tunnel that has been guiding us along the way.

We will celebrate with a dinner out on Saturday - and I'm sure it will be an ongoing celebration each time we are reminded, again, about the good news. The past six months have been an arduous lesson in what is really important in this life.

We took Michael back to school on Tuesday - and this year was a lot less emotional for this mom. Maybe it's because I'm numb from the many tests endured this year. Maybe it was less disquieting because it was his second year and we knew it was a good place for Michael. Maybe it was on account that his housemates were upstanding and quite likable. Maybe because Michael, himself, was so eager to return. Most likely, however, is the combination of the all of the above.

So the patient is no longer a patient and I no longer need to be the patient caregiver (I wasn't very patient after all!). I can once again return to my place of normalcy - that of wife and overly involved mother. And maybe, this year once school resumes, I will find my discipline and return to that comfortable position of "writer". I am feeling the call.

Comments

It's not a popularity contest, but ...

Lefties and Other Exceptional People

I have had the opportunity to do a lot of driving lately - back-and-forth to Wabash College and to-and-from Holland, Grand Rapids and East Lansing. It's given me lots of time to think and ponder the greater mysteries of the world; like the purpose of life, why my thumbnails always break first, the speed at which a state police officer will actually pull you over for and the theory of relativity. Oh, not THE theory of Relativity - with a capital 'R", created by Mr. Genius Einstein. No, my own theory of relativity - with a lower case 'r'. Created by this less-than-genius mother of three and wife of one! My theory is that the absolute worst drivers are those that drive exclusively in the left lane (I call them lefties) and the ones that believe the rules of the road apply to everyone except them (I call them exceptional people). I call it my own theory of relativity because these drivers are relatively unaware of how to drive. You know the ones that are going the spe...

Rolling, Rolling, Rolling

I put my pride aside and got my ass off the grass and into the wheelchair. {I spent a couple minutes deciding whether to put an exclamation mark after that declaration or to put the period after that statement. I think the period better suits my mood about getting said ass into the wheelchair!} On July 4, Saugatuck has a wonderfully unique parade that includes quirky participants like the artsy-fartsy campers at OxBow art colony and the LGBT members of a local foundation along with the more traditional participants like Girl Scouts, fire trucks, and local politicians. It had been a couple years since I had been to the parade, this year, though, my Mom and sister were in town and I wanted to take them. So we loaded up in the van, including Kerri's wheelchair and my own. Once we parked, John asked if I wanted to use my chair and I initially balked but then remembered that it can be a long, hot parade and it might be better to have a place to sit. So, I acquiesced and took the cha...

Vulnerability hangover

I recently blogged about my own #MeToo experiences and then went silent. (At least on the blog). Those posts have been read by over 1000 people, and that's a lot for this tiny little blog about living a life with MS and God and with a sense of humor. Suddenly, I felt like I was living in a world where people that read my blog had x-ray vision and could see my nakedness - but I didn't know who they were. It wasn't a good feeling. And then I heard someone discuss Brene Brown, in particular what she describes as a 'vulnerability hangover'. It's essentially the feeling of regret, like after a night of binge drinking, when you think "What did I do/say?" and then "I think I'll just hide out from the world." If you've never had that experience, kudos to you. It's shame, pure and simple, ugly and raw. So, now I'm on a Brene Brown binge, including all of her TED talks. Including this one on shame:  Brene, listening to shame ...