Skip to main content

A doozy!

Blogging is a little surreal.

I sit here at home (mostly) and write about what's going on in my life or what's on my mind. I don't always publish what I write, but do about half the time. 

And sometimes, the posts are humorous glimpses into my mind or life. And others, like my most recent post #Me Too, Too Many Times, the revelations are jaw-dropping and anything but humorous.

And then I go out in the world and encounter people who have taken time to read what I write (thank you!).

This is where it feels surreal. Because I haven't changed, just what you now know about me has changed. In the Me Too post, what I revealed happened many years ago and has been woven into the tapestry that is me. It was horrendous and horrible, but God has given me a resilience to move through those traumas wholly intact. I am also bolstered daily by my husband of nearly 30 years who holds me and listens to me and loves me. I thank God for John.

When you see me, remember that the person you see now is the same person you saw before you read the Me Too post. I am still that Pollyanna, 'the glass is half full' person. I still smile way more than I frown and I laugh way more than I cry. And the impossibility of my sunny disposition, in light of that past, I believe should inspire smiles not pity.

I apologize if the news of my past shocked you or was more than you needed to know. I did not share it lightly, only after prayer and reflection over many weeks. I felt compelled to share my story, in part, so you could put a face you knew (and loved?) to the #metoo movement.

Comments

It's not a popularity contest, but ...

Ch ... Ch ... Chemo

I was ready. I was prepared. The potential side-effect list was long and one I'd had some familiarity when John went through his treatment.  So I gathered my arsenal. I had my compazine, zofran and antivan. I had my ginger chewables and chicken noodle soup. I was armed and potentially dangerous. So, chemo day with the toxic chemo cocktail starting to do it's job, I envisioned it as either PacMan, eating away at the cancer cells or a Chia Pet, allowing my good cells to thrive. With these visions, (that aren't quite Christmas Eve sugar plums dancing) and tired from the chemo, I went to bed early. Friday, under the watchful eye of my caregiving hubby, I slept most of the day away. Not really hungry but not nauseous either. I spent the majority of the day horizontal on the couch listening to my book on Audible (despite the sleep timer, I probably missed 1/3 of what I 'read'), dozing, answering calls and texts, and snacking.  Perhaps the highlight of the ...

Values - pass it on.

If you have read my blog in the past or know me at all, you know that sports in general and football in particular are not one of my favorite things to watch. Unless of course, one of my sons is playing - then get out of my way as I cheer them on! It is with a lot of frustration that I have seen more televised football games in recent weeks than there are hairs on my head. Okay that might be a slight exaggeration - but only slight . So if you're like me, you have seen the plethora of commercials from the Foundation for a Better Life. They are wonderful, heartfelt little life snippets - and they all end with the tag line, "Values, pass it on." Some of the most memorable are: The girl with Downs syndrome that is crowned prom queen. The skater 'dude' that is seen running through the alleys and streets with a woman's purse in his hands until he gets to the city bus where he gives the purse to a woman that is disembarking. He says, "You left this on the b...

A Hole in My Heart Where Sandy Should Be

The past two days have passed with little joy and I find that I'm restless and cannot focus. I don't like being home because of the thousand reminders of my sweet Sandy and yet I can't be away because I don't feel like engaging in anything other than my own personal sorrow. Yes, she was 'just a dog' but oh what a dog she was. . . I learned a lot about loyalty and unconditional love from Sandy. And in that, I believe that God gives us these loving dogs so that we can learn a little about His love for us - that unconditional love. Even on my worst day when I might not have been paying much attention to Sandy, she was still there and still loving. Wow. There is no doubt in my mind that putting her down and out of her misery was the right thing for Sandy - she must have been so riddled with cancer and in such pain. Her last day she couldn't even keep water down; I imagine that her entire body must have been affected by the cancer. Then I think back to her last d...