Skip to main content

#MeToo (too many times)


I've had many discussions in recent weeks with people that have had a huge spectrum of feelings and viewpoints about the revelations that women have been harassed, assaulted and raped. And many of these were revealed for the first time by the women, some of incidents that happened more than 20 years ago. For the first time in their lives, the women have said that they chose now to reveal because they felt 'safe' or 'supported'.

 In one recent conversation (just after the Harvey Weinstein/Charlie Rose revelations), I was part of, a man asked "Where's the evidence?",
 to which a woman said, "It's just not fair. I mean these women can say whatever they want and ruin these men's lives."

 I held my tongue.

 Another woman said, "I think they're just looking for their 15 minutes of fame."

 The conversation continued around me, but I couldn't hear what they were saying because my heart was racing and blood coursing loudly. Incredulous, I took deep breaths and prayed for the right moment and the right words. As if on cue, that moment came and I hope the words were right. (I'm going to paraphrase what I said):

 "I have to interject here and let you know that I empathize with these women. One of the reasons the women are speaking out after all these years is because there seems to be a sea-change and it now feels safe to speak out about this. The men's lives may be ruined now, but the women's lives were often ruined years ago and they've had to live with the shame and shattered careers or worse. And I think if women were 'just looking for 15 minutes of fame' there would be easier or safer ways to do that."

 Silence. And I could hardly look them in the eye, but I took another deep breath and pressed on.

 "I am one of those women. I was raped in college, molested at 9 and again at 12. I endured sexual harassment from managers and discrimination in the workplace - even a manager that would grab my breasts and make lewd comments. At my annual review after I'd had a particularly stellar year, I was told that my male co-worker would be getting the top accounts because he had a wife that didn't work and two children, while I didn't have any children and my husband was an attorney."

 I looked around the room, at each face, and said, "I wouldn't have shared this a year ago, because I would have felt scorned and isolated. But now that so many other women are sharing their stories, and so many are similar to what I've endured through my life - I feel the safety of numbers by saying, Me Too. This is they way it was, but light is being shone on those dark days, so it doesn't have to be that way ever again. Not for me, or any woman in this room. Or my daughter or nieces. Or my sons or any man in this room."

 #MeToo, way too many times.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

It's not a popularity contest, but ...

A Hole in My Heart Where Sandy Should Be

The past two days have passed with little joy and I find that I'm restless and cannot focus. I don't like being home because of the thousand reminders of my sweet Sandy and yet I can't be away because I don't feel like engaging in anything other than my own personal sorrow. Yes, she was 'just a dog' but oh what a dog she was. . . I learned a lot about loyalty and unconditional love from Sandy. And in that, I believe that God gives us these loving dogs so that we can learn a little about His love for us - that unconditional love. Even on my worst day when I might not have been paying much attention to Sandy, she was still there and still loving. Wow. There is no doubt in my mind that putting her down and out of her misery was the right thing for Sandy - she must have been so riddled with cancer and in such pain. Her last day she couldn't even keep water down; I imagine that her entire body must have been affected by the cancer. Then I think back to her last d...
Post a Comment
Read more

Rolling, Rolling, Rolling

I put my pride aside and got my ass off the grass and into the wheelchair. {I spent a couple minutes deciding whether to put an exclamation mark after that declaration or to put the period after that statement. I think the period better suits my mood about getting said ass into the wheelchair!} On July 4, Saugatuck has a wonderfully unique parade that includes quirky participants like the artsy-fartsy campers at OxBow art colony and the LGBT members of a local foundation along with the more traditional participants like Girl Scouts, fire trucks, and local politicians. It had been a couple years since I had been to the parade, this year, though, my Mom and sister were in town and I wanted to take them. So we loaded up in the van, including Kerri's wheelchair and my own. Once we parked, John asked if I wanted to use my chair and I initially balked but then remembered that it can be a long, hot parade and it might be better to have a place to sit. So, I acquiesced and took the cha...
2 comments
Read more

Ch ... Ch ... Chemo

I was ready. I was prepared. The potential side-effect list was long and one I'd had some familiarity when John went through his treatment.  So I gathered my arsenal. I had my compazine, zofran and antivan. I had my ginger chewables and chicken noodle soup. I was armed and potentially dangerous. So, chemo day with the toxic chemo cocktail starting to do it's job, I envisioned it as either PacMan, eating away at the cancer cells or a Chia Pet, allowing my good cells to thrive. With these visions, (that aren't quite Christmas Eve sugar plums dancing) and tired from the chemo, I went to bed early. Friday, under the watchful eye of my caregiving hubby, I slept most of the day away. Not really hungry but not nauseous either. I spent the majority of the day horizontal on the couch listening to my book on Audible (despite the sleep timer, I probably missed 1/3 of what I 'read'), dozing, answering calls and texts, and snacking.  Perhaps the highlight of the ...
Post a Comment
Read more