Skip to main content

I'm a drag queen (in that my tuchus is dragging!)






Dame Edna and I have a lot in common these days. I am a drag queen, because post-chemo my tuchus is dragging but like Dame Edna, I'm owning it! I mean, if I'm going to be one sorry sluggish sloth, I will do it it style. My style, but style nonetheless. I will wear a comfy pair of leggings with a periwinkle t-shirt that reads, "LSE Mum" and a pink hoodie from Wabash College and pink socks that read "Cancer Sucks" - with my absolutely most fab glasses and pink lipgloss. This poster child for chemo is rocking her runway! You'll just have to take my word for it, because there is no way I'm going to post a pic; mostly because it would require a level of energy that is lacking and the pic itself might just shatter the illusion I have that I'm looking great!

I saw a commercial recently for Walgreens whose message was to battle beautifully. Women, all with cancer, are shown getting beauty advice or makeovers. I applaud and am at the same time appalled by that message. I applaud the women who had the energy and desire to go out in the world seeking whatever it takes to make them feel beautiful. It's not an easy thing to do when so much of what is deemed to make women beautiful is often robbed from them as they go through treatment; their hair, including eyelashes and eyebrows: healthy skin becomes dry as do their lips: weight is lost and energy is depleted. 

I applaud all courageous warriors and their efforts to maintain self-esteem, however they choose to do it. But I am appalled that we feel the need, in the midst of the battle for our lives, to check our outward appearances based on societal views of beauty. Myself included. I find myself not wanting to appear as tired as I feel, which then requires, post-chemo, more energy than I have to work on my appearance. When it's much easier the four-days after chemo to just stay home, rest up and rock my runway in comfy clothes.

I am battling this cancer with all that I've got. I may be laying down for a large part of this battle but I'm fighting. And signs are good that this horizontal fight is working because the tumor has shrunk dramatically (I can hardly detect it!). 

I start the next round of chemo in two weeks and it is the 'easier' of the cocktails. Administered weekly for 12 weeks, I will be done in mid-June, with a month to get ready for the main event of 2019 - the wedding of Michael Patrick and Carmen Amanda. 

Comments

It's not a popularity contest, but ...

Fairy Tales

What do London Bridge, Humpty Dumpty, The Three Little Pigs and Kathleen Piggins have in common? They all fall down!  Well with the Three Little Pigs it's not the pigs that fall but the house but I have three not-so-little Piggins and it just seemed appropos to include that fairy tale here! Because this is a tale about falling down. But it's also about getting back up! At last night's Douglas Social  my friend Kris and I meandered through the crowd greeting and often hugging friends along the way to the beer/wine tent - I spotted a friend that recently moved to the area and went to give her a big hug. and after proceeded to fall flat on my arse. Time seemed to stop and it felt that the all eyes in the crowd were on me as I landed and then proceeded to get back up with the help of friends. One of the saddest part of the fall, was that I had just gotten my first glass of wine and it was now all over me.  I thought "Thank goodness I was drinking white". And t...

Rolling, Rolling, Rolling

I put my pride aside and got my ass off the grass and into the wheelchair. {I spent a couple minutes deciding whether to put an exclamation mark after that declaration or to put the period after that statement. I think the period better suits my mood about getting said ass into the wheelchair!} On July 4, Saugatuck has a wonderfully unique parade that includes quirky participants like the artsy-fartsy campers at OxBow art colony and the LGBT members of a local foundation along with the more traditional participants like Girl Scouts, fire trucks, and local politicians. It had been a couple years since I had been to the parade, this year, though, my Mom and sister were in town and I wanted to take them. So we loaded up in the van, including Kerri's wheelchair and my own. Once we parked, John asked if I wanted to use my chair and I initially balked but then remembered that it can be a long, hot parade and it might be better to have a place to sit. So, I acquiesced and took the cha...
My aunt recently commented about my blog that I do a  "great job of sharing things very personal without them being morbid, too dramatic, TOO personal". I am about to let her down . . . It's been a tough week.  We learned that a man we knew from treatment at UofM, with a similar cancer, passed away on Tuesday. We knew that just after the treatment at UofM concluded, that his cancer had meta-sized to his lungs and other treatments (including one at John's Hopkins) did not help. John Cleasby was only 57. In my mind, I can see his face in the chemo infusion room at UofM - coping as all the patients were. He was a quiet and gentle man - who happened to be married to a former co-worker of mine. While sitting next to each other in the infusion area, it seemed a blessing that I found a long-lost friend in the chaos that was the UofM Cancer Center and hospital. Bonnie Cleasby and I shared so much and had such similar outlooks. "We are going to beat this thing", ...