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The Chair

It's no secret that I didn't go easily into the wheelchair - I went kicking and screaming, metaphorically at least. So when a Facebook memory came up from 4 years ago, of the day I got Hot Wheels, it was an opportunity to reflect back over those years and how this chair has changed my life and perspective.

While I still wish I didn't have secondary progressive MS that necessitated my need for a wheelchair, that I have it is a fact of life that wishing cannot change. I have prayed too, but the answer to those prayers seem to be that I'm supposed to be where I am and to be a wheeled disciple for God's grace. (If you knew me when I was in my teens and 20s you'd know that I was hell on wheels before I had wheels and led anything but a grace-filled life).

Prior to acquiescing to the wheeled life, I used to hobble along using a cane or walker and falling frequently. It was after one of those falls that I sat on the floor amid spilled groceries in tears pleading to God for an answer and help. I looked up and before me was the wheelchair I had used recently when I broke my foot. 

"No," I said looking to the ceiling, "that can't really be your answer!"

Shortly after that, I got an upgrade from that clunky, heavy, plain black chair to the lighter, jazzy red chair - aka Hot Wheels. Aside from occasional pity parties or grumble fests, I have been blessed and helped immensely by this chair. 

* By using the chair, I have more energy because I'm not exhausting my body and mind by Struggling to safely walk any distance. I didn't realize how difficult it had become to remain uppright while walking until I didn't have to do that anymore.

* I was able to tour Ireland and even received carte-blanche treatment because unlike the US they don't have the ADA so access to all buildings isn't a guarentee and to gain entry to some, the proprietors will roll out the red carpet or in this case a ramp or special entrance.

* I bumped down the cobbled streets of the Tower of London (and trust me it was bumpy!) and realized while there that if you'd been disabled in days gone by, you didn't get by easily or at all because there was no way to get around.

* I have had countless conversations with children in their strollers, because we are eye-to-eye. And never have I had a conversation with a child and not felt blessed. My wheelchair gets compared to their stroller, because its often seen as a stroller to them. They also love to the scooter carts at grocery stores that I have the privilege of riding and that I realize is really not a privilege when one is not available - but that is for another blog post.

* Going anywhere is easier when I don't have to worry about falling or actually falling. I grumble about the hassle of putting the chair in and out of the car, but not having the chair would further limit my ability to be out and about.

* My family worries a hell of a lot less about me. I can see in my mind's eye their expressions as they watch me tenuously traverse the flattest of surfaces while using a cane- it's like they're waiting for a train wreck. Conversely, they love to push me around, literally and figuratively, and this chair gives them that joy. I love to enable joy.

There are a gazillion more reasons, large and minute, that I feel gratitude for Hot Wheels but I'll not bore you with them. Instead, I'll spend time in quiet reflection.




#theglassishalffull
#msadvocate
#disabilitymatters
#izzywheels


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