Skip to main content

Kiss Today Goodbye . . .

Not sure what musical those lyrics are from or even if I got them right - 'kiss today goodbye. the sweetness and the sorrow . . ." But that is the song I cannot get out of my head. Despite the fact that it's Christmas and there is a barrage of Christmas songs on the radio and stereo and everywhere. No Jingle Bells for me. Silent Night is mute. Oh Come All Ye Faithful has left my head. Instead the tune and words that keep playing are "kiss today . . ." or is it "THE day."

Whatever the correct words - the sentiment is one I am feeling deeply. It's not this day in particular that I wish to kiss adieu - but this year. 2010 cannot end soon enough for me. While there have been a few highlights - most of which I've blogged about - the low lights are what comes to mind when this Pollyanna thinks back on the year that was 2010.

Not only John's cancer - which colored nearly everything since he was diagnosed in February, but my sister Kelli's breast cancer as well. She was diagnosed just before Thanksgiving of 2009. We went into John's diagnosis and treatment with Kelli much on our hearts and minds. Thankfully, both John and Kelli are doing well and the overall outlook is good. Matthew's good friend, Kyle spent last Christmas and several weeks in the hospital recovering from open heart surgery.

With the success of the Saugatuck football team, I thought that at least we could go out of 2010 on a high note. But 2010 had other ideas . . .

Now, my dear friend Aimee is battling health demons. Just one week ago, struggling with the pain of what she thought was a severe migraine she went to the ER and within hours her world was turned upside down with the diagnosis of Chiari Malformation - while present since birth she only learned of it last week. She wanted to delay surgery - there were other options - but that was not to be. Tonight, she sleeps not-so-soundly at Holland Hospital awaiting surgery in the morning. She will spend Christmas in the hospital - I know it was something she wanted desperately to avoid. The overall prognosis is good - but why the hell does the road to a happy ending have to be so hazardous?

I am ready, oh so ready - to kiss this year goodbye. I know it's just a number and on January 1, 2011 that all the troubles, concerns and worries of 2010 won't go away - but in my mind it's really a new year. A new beginning.

So pucker up - and kiss it goodbye with me!

Comments

It's not a popularity contest, but ...

Ten Year

When I was in junior high school, I staged a sit-in and learned about 'ten year'. This will come as a total surprise to most of you readers - I was not a perfectly well behaved child. I know, I know - you're shocked, amazed, in wonder how I could have turned out to be so well-behaved despite the oats sown in my youth.  And the sit-in is a perfect example of how I marched to the beat of my own drummer. Miss Brown was an English teacher - and not a very popular one. She would invoke the yardstick on wayward student's hands and scowl the moment we walked into the classroom. We weren't very kind to Miss Brown but then she wasn't very kind to us, either. Personally, the hardest part of having Miss Brown as an English teacher is that she nearly ruined my love of my favorite topic in school. It was the year we were to learn grammar (have I ever mentioned that as a writer I detest grammar?). I think some new way of teaching English was introduced and in all l...

Blubbering Idiot

While doing crunches this morning, I turned on the TV to keep my mind off the exercise I was about to do and the movie "Gran Torino" was playing. It was nearly 3/4 of the way done. Perfect, I thought, I can watch the end of one of my newest favorite movies. Fifteen minutes later, I'm a puddle of tears on the floor. The end of that movie dissolves me to tears every time - and I think I've seen it now about six or seven times. When Clint Eastwood's character goes about his last day - including a lame confession with the priest - locking 'Toad' in the basement, I begin to get weepy. SCENE SPOILER ALERT ! But when he is shot down and is splayed as though crucified on the cross, I become a blubbering idiot. So much softness and sacrifice in one so tough and gruff - it highlights the intensity of his sacrifice for his new family next door. I only need watch the last few minutes of "Gran Torino" to get the full emotional effect. The same can be said...

Hair today gone tomorrow

Before you all begin to think I’m breezing completely through chemo, let me remind you of this:   For the most part I am bald. Or if not completely bald, fuzzy headed, and not in the way I think or am thinking, but in the appearance. A little like a hedgehog or a porcupine with bald patches. On Super Bowl Sunday while most of you were overeating or filling out those little squares to wager on the upcoming game, John and I were having a unique pre-game party. In front of our bathroom mirror with clippers and scissors. Preparing for the certainty of hair loss from my chemo, I decided to buzz my locks to lessen the shock and mess of of losing large chunks of my silver, shoulder-length hair. It was in all honesty one of the most poignant moments in our 30+  year marriage. I had originally asked my friend and former stylist if she could do it . But when I shared my plan with John, he said that he wanted to do it. Certainly that was not expected. So instead of watching th...