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How Running Makes You Pregnant

In my recent post entitled "Rockin' and Rollin' but mostly Rollin'", I referenced my previous attempts to be a runner. I did not go into detail, though I'm fairly certain a few of you went to YouTube to see if there were any comedy skits with a theme of 'knock-kneed runners', or 'funniest running styles' or 'people that should not be running'. I've not Googled it, mostly because I forget what I was supposed to be googling when I sit down at the computer.

What got a few snickers from friends or quizzical looks from that post, was my reference to running making me pregnant. It's a quick story and has a happy ending (Delaney).

About 20 years ago, (exactly 20 in fact since the aforementioned Delaney turned 19 in November) I decided to secretly train for the Old Kent Riverbank Run.( It's now called the Fifth Third.) I wasn't planning to run the whole, long gazillion mile race but was thinking the 5K or hopefully even shorter if they had one. I was going to do it as an anniversary or birthday gift for my hubby because he liked to run and I thought it was something we could do together. And John knew how much I didn't like running so he would, I thought, appreciate my effort and thought. So, with the YWCA gift membership I got for Christmas, I started running on the treadmill in addition to aqua aerobics. I was getting in great shape and lost about 20 pounds in two months. It wasn't fun, in fact I found it rather mundane, running. So then, when the weather got warmer I began to run outside (that's where the YouTube videos or comedy skits would have been inspired). While my enjoyment didn't increase, at least I could see what was going on in the 'hood' while I was running around instead of staring at a TV screen or watching other women working out in the Y. I'm not a nosy neighbor, just curious and I would use what I saw on those runs to create stories in my mind as entertainment (I have always had the imagination of a writer, if not the discipline).

But it was getting more difficult to run and at first, I chalked it up to the fact that I was running outside on uneven terrain. And then, not only was it more difficult to run but I wasn't losing any more weight despite an increased distance I was running. I kept at it though.

About four months into my new secret running routine, one of the boys got sick and I took them to the doctor's office. I asked the nurse, Christine, if I could take a pregnancy test - I hadn't thought of it before but something (someone?) inspired the question. So, I went into the bathroom to pee into the cup and with Michael and Matthew in tow - at the time they were 4 and 2. They looked at what I was doing with such curiosity, "Mom, whatcha doin'?" they asked. (Later that night when they were in the bathroom, supposedly brushing their teeth, I heard them laughing and went in to see them replicating the 'peeing in a cup' trick they'd witnessed earlier. I think I got rid of the Dixie cup dispenser that night.)

You guessed it, Christine came back in with the biggest smile and carrying the test stick. "You're pregnant," she beamed. I broke down in tears. She looked confused and handed me the tissues and asked one of the other nurses to take the boys out to play in the waiting room.

I told her that I wasn't unhappy, just a little shocked. I had been running to get ready for this race and it was a present for John and I don't know how it happened and we had two healthy boys and I was running to be with my hubby and ...  I went on for about another minute. And looked up at Christine, who had been listening and was smiling back at me. She said "You don't know how this happened? {pause} Clearly, it was the running that made you pregnant!"

So, there you have it. A medical professional acknowledged that running made me pregnant. I don't care that she said it with a big grin followed by a hug followed by side-splitting laughter from both of us. She said it. And she's a professional.

So, there you have it. There was an Immaculate Conception and my Intractable Conception! 

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