Skip to main content

Treatment begins

Today is the first day of the rest of my life.
Today is the day I begin, at last, treatment.
Today is the day I begin to kick cancer's ass.
Today is the day I start infusing ugly, nasty, side-affect laden, toxic chemicals for the greater good.
Today is a day that I wish I could rewrite the script for completely deleting the part requiring me to need breast cancer chemo.

And yet, here it is and at 1:15 EST I will be at the Cancer & Hematology Center in Holland. It's where I will be a lot for the next five months. It's where I will, I'm sure (and surety is something I have less of these days as I know not how I will respond to chemo), create new friendships and forge bonds with people that I am currently unfamiliar. Because that's who I am; a lover of people and a woman that wants to know and love on all the people she comes to meet. 

I don't know why I have breast cancer but someday I will ask God (along with a whole bunch of other questions!). I do believe to my deepest core, however, that being the Pollyanna, people-loving person that I am, that I can be an example of strength and hope. That is my prayer, at least, to remain steadfast in positivity and faith so that others may witness. Because, I also believe, that God has this and has put the care team in place to kick cancer's ass.

It doesn't mean I'm not a little nervous or even afraid, it's the great unknown after all, it just means that I won't rest in that fear because that doesn't do me or anyone any good.

So today I don my imaginary boxing gloves (cue the Rocky theme song) and my very real smile and my deepest faith to begin the fight of my life. And if you're a betting kind (Kris, I know you're reading this!!), I'd place all your money in my corner - because that's where God is!

Can I get an Amen???

Comments

It's not a popularity contest, but ...

Parenting

I just read a post on Facebook regarding the dearth of parenting. The poster was describing a scene where two young girls were pelting rocks at some ducks in our little town and how he observed no parents around telling these girls that it was wrong to torture little innocent animals. Within hours, there were 15 responses - all alluding to a lack of parenting that is evident nearly everywhere today. Stick with me here - because that conversation reminded me of one I'd had recently that might not seem related to parenting at all. It was with my oldest son about his concern about the selfishness of our culture - most recently evident in the Wall Street meltdown. He believes that we are too focused on "Me" and not enough on "We" and if we had a little more focus on the total and just not our part, we would be in a much better place. Still there? Okay, here's the cement that will hold this together - those girls pelting little ducks with rocks weren't likely...

Tough time to be a Pollyanna

Remember when 9/11 was just a date or a number you called in an emergency? Our lives changed dramatically post 9/11. For weeks after that September day, we seemed to walk around in a fog, like the haze that loomed over the now-fallen twin towers. I remember trying to minimize my obsession with the news, trying to keep the three little Piggins away from the enormity of the disaster. Remember when corona was simply a beer best served with a lime wedge? It now and forever will be instead associated with this virus that has upended our world in ways we could never have imagined. This tiny little, microscopic virus has brought the mighty to their knees. It has us quarantined and distancing socially (though I believe we've been doing this emotionally for years) and working from home. As anxiety peaks, our economy tanks. As toilet paper and hand sanitizer flies off the shelves, we are looking for new ways to stock our pantries. A good friend observed, "I never thought I'd...

When a small town is huge

  In the movie "it's a Wonderful Life", the protagonist George Bailey has longed nearly his whole life to 'shake off the dust of this crummy little town off my feet," to see the world. But Bedford Falls, that crummy little town, felt differently about George. And with the help of a quirky guardian angel, George eventually sees that his life and his town were pretty wonderful. Good lord, but I love that movie and it's characters and it's moral and that small town. I watch it every year at least twice and still cry every time. And I wonder too about the man that pushes the devious Mr. Potter's wheelchair and stands by his side- you know the man, he looks a little like Lurch from "The Addams Family". I wonder, what was he thinking as he listened and watched his boss ruin the lives of everyone he could. What kind of an Non-disclosure agreement did he sign, to keep him silent as he stood by and watched Potter pocket the money Uncle Billy was depo...