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Treatment begins

Today is the first day of the rest of my life.
Today is the day I begin, at last, treatment.
Today is the day I begin to kick cancer's ass.
Today is the day I start infusing ugly, nasty, side-affect laden, toxic chemicals for the greater good.
Today is a day that I wish I could rewrite the script for completely deleting the part requiring me to need breast cancer chemo.

And yet, here it is and at 1:15 EST I will be at the Cancer & Hematology Center in Holland. It's where I will be a lot for the next five months. It's where I will, I'm sure (and surety is something I have less of these days as I know not how I will respond to chemo), create new friendships and forge bonds with people that I am currently unfamiliar. Because that's who I am; a lover of people and a woman that wants to know and love on all the people she comes to meet. 

I don't know why I have breast cancer but someday I will ask God (along with a whole bunch of other questions!). I do believe to my deepest core, however, that being the Pollyanna, people-loving person that I am, that I can be an example of strength and hope. That is my prayer, at least, to remain steadfast in positivity and faith so that others may witness. Because, I also believe, that God has this and has put the care team in place to kick cancer's ass.

It doesn't mean I'm not a little nervous or even afraid, it's the great unknown after all, it just means that I won't rest in that fear because that doesn't do me or anyone any good.

So today I don my imaginary boxing gloves (cue the Rocky theme song) and my very real smile and my deepest faith to begin the fight of my life. And if you're a betting kind (Kris, I know you're reading this!!), I'd place all your money in my corner - because that's where God is!

Can I get an Amen???

Comments

It's not a popularity contest, but ...

Rolling, Rolling, Rolling

I put my pride aside and got my ass off the grass and into the wheelchair. {I spent a couple minutes deciding whether to put an exclamation mark after that declaration or to put the period after that statement. I think the period better suits my mood about getting said ass into the wheelchair!} On July 4, Saugatuck has a wonderfully unique parade that includes quirky participants like the artsy-fartsy campers at OxBow art colony and the LGBT members of a local foundation along with the more traditional participants like Girl Scouts, fire trucks, and local politicians. It had been a couple years since I had been to the parade, this year, though, my Mom and sister were in town and I wanted to take them. So we loaded up in the van, including Kerri's wheelchair and my own. Once we parked, John asked if I wanted to use my chair and I initially balked but then remembered that it can be a long, hot parade and it might be better to have a place to sit. So, I acquiesced and took the cha...

Don't cry for me ...

Song lyrics or titles run through my mind to often sum up a situation or add humor to one. Today, it's "Don't Cry for Me Argentina". Only today the title is "Don't cry for me anybody"! I mean, I get it, that people feel bad that I've got breast cancer and that I've been living with MS for nearly 27 years. And I've had other issues that I've blogged about related to #metoo. I get that it seems like a lot looking in from the outside. I hear your comments and appreciate your support. But here's the thing, it doesn't feel overwhelming to me, looking out from the inside. Know what I mean? I live the life that I've been dealt and do it with the personality and faith I've been given. Which means, I could do one of the following: A. Have a miserable, pity-me attitude that would lead to being  miserable; B. Lean into my troubles and seek answers constantly either through research or angrily with God, which would lea...

Hey, looks aren't everything!

It doesn't look like much - especially from this distance - but that mini van behind the tow truck was our world for many years.  Our family traveled nearly 180,000 miles and tallied up even more memories within the walls/windows of that Ford Windstar. It took us to Washington D.C., Florida, on countless trips to Illinois, Wisconsin, Indiana and St. Louis. And all around this beautiful state of Michigan. It was the vehicle of choice when taking the three not-so-little Piggins on college visits and then hauling their worldly goods to the college they chose from those visits. It was easy to distinguish from every other white mini-van because there were bumper stickers from those colleges and also a couple from their high schools! It took the three not-so-little Piggins to golf matches, baseball and football games, auditions and rehearsals. It has held the golf team and members of the band, honors choir, quiz bowl, youth group and countless other configurations of groups. And ...