Seeing the movie "Gypsy" as a young teen, I remember being shocked by the lengths Gypsy Rose Lee's mother took to find fame for her daughters. I was horrified by what that fame cost the young Louise who ended up being the famous burlesque queen of the 20s & 30s. Mama Rose was the epitome of a pushy stage mom. Rosalind Russell singing 'Everything's Coming Up Roses' classically and musically portrays the ambitions she has that will be achieved on the back of her daughter.
As a young teen, I couldn't imagine such a mother. One who had ambitions for herself and one who would use her children to achieve those ambitions. Of fame. Fortune. Stardom.
I now find myself as a stage mom - and I pray that I will never, ever be what Rosalind Russell portrayed so well; a clawing, pushy, selfish woman. In the movie she is seen yelling at a director because he didn't allow Gypsy to sing the entire song or something like that. Thankfully, they usually don't allow mothers into auditions!
But let me assure you, there are modern versions of Mama Rose. They may not be yelling at directors during auditions but they're smoothly clawing the way clear for their young performer behind the scenes. They have a way of belittling any achievement of another's child while smoothly boasting of their own's resume. And if by chance another child is more talented than their own - better watch your back and that of your child because there is little that will stand in the way of their putting Junior back on a higher/better pedestal. I have personally witnessed child performers being belittled by such stage moms. It isn't pretty!
I suppose there are stage moms in every activity that involves children - I've heard horror stories from others about dance or gymnastics or skating mothers. My wish is that we parents would retract our claws, shut our mouths and support our children from a respectful distance. Because in the future our children are going to have to learn to fight their own battles, have a realistic assessment of their own talents or skills and be functioning adults. Many of us know a young adult that is floundering and I have to believe that some of the floundering is due to parents that controlled too much or didn't allow Junior to fall or fail.
It's not easy letting our children fail - but it's part of growing up. Some of history's biggest successes - Abraham Lincoln, Einstein, Helen Keller to name just a few - experienced some monumental failures as children or teens. I have been deeply saddened when one of my children experienced a set back, but when the tears clear and the pain subsides there is a whole lot of strength left. And that will do them a lot more good than a part in a play, or some other achievement - because it will last into adulthood and be there for them when I can no longer wipe away their tears.
Don't get me wrong, I never pray that my children fail. Quite the contrary. I am like all other parents fervently praying for my children's success at whatever they are currently doing. But when there is a set back, I pray for the grace and words to help them find the strength when the pain subsides.
And when I encounter a Mama Rose, I silently pray that she finds solace in failure and then I quickly turn and walk as quickly as I can in the other direction!
As a young teen, I couldn't imagine such a mother. One who had ambitions for herself and one who would use her children to achieve those ambitions. Of fame. Fortune. Stardom.
I now find myself as a stage mom - and I pray that I will never, ever be what Rosalind Russell portrayed so well; a clawing, pushy, selfish woman. In the movie she is seen yelling at a director because he didn't allow Gypsy to sing the entire song or something like that. Thankfully, they usually don't allow mothers into auditions!
But let me assure you, there are modern versions of Mama Rose. They may not be yelling at directors during auditions but they're smoothly clawing the way clear for their young performer behind the scenes. They have a way of belittling any achievement of another's child while smoothly boasting of their own's resume. And if by chance another child is more talented than their own - better watch your back and that of your child because there is little that will stand in the way of their putting Junior back on a higher/better pedestal. I have personally witnessed child performers being belittled by such stage moms. It isn't pretty!
I suppose there are stage moms in every activity that involves children - I've heard horror stories from others about dance or gymnastics or skating mothers. My wish is that we parents would retract our claws, shut our mouths and support our children from a respectful distance. Because in the future our children are going to have to learn to fight their own battles, have a realistic assessment of their own talents or skills and be functioning adults. Many of us know a young adult that is floundering and I have to believe that some of the floundering is due to parents that controlled too much or didn't allow Junior to fall or fail.
It's not easy letting our children fail - but it's part of growing up. Some of history's biggest successes - Abraham Lincoln, Einstein, Helen Keller to name just a few - experienced some monumental failures as children or teens. I have been deeply saddened when one of my children experienced a set back, but when the tears clear and the pain subsides there is a whole lot of strength left. And that will do them a lot more good than a part in a play, or some other achievement - because it will last into adulthood and be there for them when I can no longer wipe away their tears.
Don't get me wrong, I never pray that my children fail. Quite the contrary. I am like all other parents fervently praying for my children's success at whatever they are currently doing. But when there is a set back, I pray for the grace and words to help them find the strength when the pain subsides.
And when I encounter a Mama Rose, I silently pray that she finds solace in failure and then I quickly turn and walk as quickly as I can in the other direction!
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