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Lefties and Other Exceptional People

I have had the opportunity to do a lot of driving lately - back-and-forth to Wabash College and to-and-from Holland, Grand Rapids and East Lansing. It's given me lots of time to think and ponder the greater mysteries of the world; like the purpose of life, why my thumbnails always break first, the speed at which a state police officer will actually pull you over for and the theory of relativity. Oh, not THE theory of Relativity - with a capital 'R", created by Mr. Genius Einstein. No, my own theory of relativity - with a lower case 'r'. Created by this less-than-genius mother of three and wife of one!

My theory is that the absolute worst drivers are those that drive exclusively in the left lane (I call them lefties) and the ones that believe the rules of the road apply to everyone except them (I call them exceptional people). I call it my own theory of relativity because these drivers are relatively unaware of how to drive. You know the ones that are going the speed limit and hanging in the left lane - on a two-lane expressway - so that no one can get by them. And when you finally do pass them, they're relatively unaware that a gazillion cars are lined up behind them willing to break a few speed limits (and wondering if that state trooper will pull them over for going 79 in a 70 zone).

I have passed while driving in the right lane, many lefties. In Michigan there are signs every few miles reminding all drivers that "The left lane is for passing only. Slower cars should keep right. It's the law". I don't recall seeing these signs in Indiana or Illinois where there seems to be a higher prevalence of lefties. And I know I am going to tick off a few of my friends and relations in those two states when I write that the absolute worst drivers are in Illinois - and the closer to Chicago you get the more of them there are! They pretty much own that left lane - I think to them possession is more than nine tenths of the law.

So, in Michigan where there are actually signs alerting lefties to their law-breaking ways I would consider these lefties to also be exceptional people. That particular law applies to everyone except them. However in recent weeks spent driving to-and-from and back-and-forth, I have to admit that I fall in the category of exceptional as well - since, as I've already admitted here, I tend to go a little over the speed limit. Hence, the speed limit applies to everyone except me! And you'll incur my wrath if you tailgate me while I'm being exceptional just so you can be a little more exceptional than me. I've been known to mutter and yell and call other exceptional people all kinds of things (like idiot or jerk); as my offspring have reminded me on numerous occasions the other driver can't hear me! Good thing, too, because of all that name-calling!

Now, before you begin to think that I might have road-rage issues, let me be the first to say that I am a perfectly calm driver. Polite even - I let people in when merging and other kindnesses of the road. I do believe, however, that the closer I get to Chicago the more Kind Kathleen moves to the backseat and Road Warrior Piggins takes over!

Comments

  1. Bonnie HOctober 18, 2010 at 1:12 PM

    You are sooo right! I am with you, sister! Illinois IS the worst...until you go to Minnesota, where the drivers THINK you are SUPPOSED to drive in the left lane if going slower...and STILL slow down when people are merging into the right lane.

    The funniest thing about the Illinois observation is that it was so bad in this state that we passed a law against it!!!! Like so many things in Illinois these days, that obviously doesn't work.

    The following are Ph.D. based research findings about this as well: 85% of the people driving in the left lane are YOUNG WOMEN...girls, if you will. Yep, its true. That research was conducted over a two year period, from Monticello to Champaign on Rte. 72, with NO GOVERNMENTAL FUNDING. Some might call it anecdotal evidence; I call it qualitative evidence.

    The best way to get them over? Get a semi behind them....scares them to death!

    Bonnie

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