Skip to main content

Lefties and Other Exceptional People

I have had the opportunity to do a lot of driving lately - back-and-forth to Wabash College and to-and-from Holland, Grand Rapids and East Lansing. It's given me lots of time to think and ponder the greater mysteries of the world; like the purpose of life, why my thumbnails always break first, the speed at which a state police officer will actually pull you over for and the theory of relativity. Oh, not THE theory of Relativity - with a capital 'R", created by Mr. Genius Einstein. No, my own theory of relativity - with a lower case 'r'. Created by this less-than-genius mother of three and wife of one!

My theory is that the absolute worst drivers are those that drive exclusively in the left lane (I call them lefties) and the ones that believe the rules of the road apply to everyone except them (I call them exceptional people). I call it my own theory of relativity because these drivers are relatively unaware of how to drive. You know the ones that are going the speed limit and hanging in the left lane - on a two-lane expressway - so that no one can get by them. And when you finally do pass them, they're relatively unaware that a gazillion cars are lined up behind them willing to break a few speed limits (and wondering if that state trooper will pull them over for going 79 in a 70 zone).

I have passed while driving in the right lane, many lefties. In Michigan there are signs every few miles reminding all drivers that "The left lane is for passing only. Slower cars should keep right. It's the law". I don't recall seeing these signs in Indiana or Illinois where there seems to be a higher prevalence of lefties. And I know I am going to tick off a few of my friends and relations in those two states when I write that the absolute worst drivers are in Illinois - and the closer to Chicago you get the more of them there are! They pretty much own that left lane - I think to them possession is more than nine tenths of the law.

So, in Michigan where there are actually signs alerting lefties to their law-breaking ways I would consider these lefties to also be exceptional people. That particular law applies to everyone except them. However in recent weeks spent driving to-and-from and back-and-forth, I have to admit that I fall in the category of exceptional as well - since, as I've already admitted here, I tend to go a little over the speed limit. Hence, the speed limit applies to everyone except me! And you'll incur my wrath if you tailgate me while I'm being exceptional just so you can be a little more exceptional than me. I've been known to mutter and yell and call other exceptional people all kinds of things (like idiot or jerk); as my offspring have reminded me on numerous occasions the other driver can't hear me! Good thing, too, because of all that name-calling!

Now, before you begin to think that I might have road-rage issues, let me be the first to say that I am a perfectly calm driver. Polite even - I let people in when merging and other kindnesses of the road. I do believe, however, that the closer I get to Chicago the more Kind Kathleen moves to the backseat and Road Warrior Piggins takes over!

Comments

  1. You are sooo right! I am with you, sister! Illinois IS the worst...until you go to Minnesota, where the drivers THINK you are SUPPOSED to drive in the left lane if going slower...and STILL slow down when people are merging into the right lane.

    The funniest thing about the Illinois observation is that it was so bad in this state that we passed a law against it!!!! Like so many things in Illinois these days, that obviously doesn't work.

    The following are Ph.D. based research findings about this as well: 85% of the people driving in the left lane are YOUNG WOMEN...girls, if you will. Yep, its true. That research was conducted over a two year period, from Monticello to Champaign on Rte. 72, with NO GOVERNMENTAL FUNDING. Some might call it anecdotal evidence; I call it qualitative evidence.

    The best way to get them over? Get a semi behind them....scares them to death!

    Bonnie

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

It's not a popularity contest, but ...

Going off the Rails on a Crazy Train

While getting an MRI recently, I selected to listen to a classic rock station. Actually I requested a station that played 70s or 80s music and the tech asked if I wanted pop or rock. "Well, classic rock would probably be better since I have to hold still," I responded. "If I listened to pop, I'd want to be dancing." And so I laid perfectly still while listening (or kind of listening since really in an MRI you never really drown out the loud bangs, whirs and booms). And it came to pass that the song "Crazy Train" started playing and I started to silently and stillfully laugh to myself. What a strangely perfect song for this moment in my life. Ozzy Osbourne was singing my song (has anyone ever really said that ever before???)! "I'm going off the rails on a crazy train," he sings/screams. (and a bunch of other lyrics I didn't understand because well, I was in an MRI and he was kind of screaming) You see the reason was that the MR...

Now it looks like Christmas!

It's a snow globe out there! Only, with a real snow globe the snow eventually settles and the globe becomes clear. Not here though - the snow keeps falling and falling and falling. I'm sure that my Mom in Arizona is watching the weather channel and seeing this as a Ziggy-cloud of snow over the Piggins' house. A repeat of last winter and the one before that! Right now, I don't mind the snow so much. It's beautiful to look at from the warmth of my home. And it muffles sound, creating a greater sense of peace like we're wrapped in a blanket of snow. And here's a real bonus, it's looking like Christmas and since I still haven't taken down my tree or decorations I can almost fool myself that it's okay that I procrastinated! Today, I will look at my lighted Christmas tree, put a fire in the fireplace, sit on the couch with my 80-pound lap dog and read a book. My snow story will take on a much different tone in a few weeks when it still hasn't...

I'm a work in progress

I have stopped making official New Year's resolutions because I've never made it past the second week. I stopped giving 'things' up for Lent because I've rarely made halfway through the 40 days without succumbing. (That Jesus was sure amazing because I've given up things like chocolate or wine but He gave up the essentials, like food and water. And the only tempter I had was a commercial or a walk through the grocery store - with a full stomach and plenty of water to drink. Jesus had Satan, the greatest of tempters, and he certainly had to be hungry and thirsty). I recently signed up for a 30 Day challenge to lose 12 pounds. Not a monumental task except for the fact that I signed up for it while transitioning to the wheelchair. In winter. With a wheelchair without snow tires that made it especially challenging to get out and about.  Yep, I set myself up for failure on that one!  On one of the diet plans I tried a few years back, my goal was to lose 40 poun...