Skip to main content

Lefties and Other Exceptional People

I have had the opportunity to do a lot of driving lately - back-and-forth to Wabash College and to-and-from Holland, Grand Rapids and East Lansing. It's given me lots of time to think and ponder the greater mysteries of the world; like the purpose of life, why my thumbnails always break first, the speed at which a state police officer will actually pull you over for and the theory of relativity. Oh, not THE theory of Relativity - with a capital 'R", created by Mr. Genius Einstein. No, my own theory of relativity - with a lower case 'r'. Created by this less-than-genius mother of three and wife of one!

My theory is that the absolute worst drivers are those that drive exclusively in the left lane (I call them lefties) and the ones that believe the rules of the road apply to everyone except them (I call them exceptional people). I call it my own theory of relativity because these drivers are relatively unaware of how to drive. You know the ones that are going the speed limit and hanging in the left lane - on a two-lane expressway - so that no one can get by them. And when you finally do pass them, they're relatively unaware that a gazillion cars are lined up behind them willing to break a few speed limits (and wondering if that state trooper will pull them over for going 79 in a 70 zone).

I have passed while driving in the right lane, many lefties. In Michigan there are signs every few miles reminding all drivers that "The left lane is for passing only. Slower cars should keep right. It's the law". I don't recall seeing these signs in Indiana or Illinois where there seems to be a higher prevalence of lefties. And I know I am going to tick off a few of my friends and relations in those two states when I write that the absolute worst drivers are in Illinois - and the closer to Chicago you get the more of them there are! They pretty much own that left lane - I think to them possession is more than nine tenths of the law.

So, in Michigan where there are actually signs alerting lefties to their law-breaking ways I would consider these lefties to also be exceptional people. That particular law applies to everyone except them. However in recent weeks spent driving to-and-from and back-and-forth, I have to admit that I fall in the category of exceptional as well - since, as I've already admitted here, I tend to go a little over the speed limit. Hence, the speed limit applies to everyone except me! And you'll incur my wrath if you tailgate me while I'm being exceptional just so you can be a little more exceptional than me. I've been known to mutter and yell and call other exceptional people all kinds of things (like idiot or jerk); as my offspring have reminded me on numerous occasions the other driver can't hear me! Good thing, too, because of all that name-calling!

Now, before you begin to think that I might have road-rage issues, let me be the first to say that I am a perfectly calm driver. Polite even - I let people in when merging and other kindnesses of the road. I do believe, however, that the closer I get to Chicago the more Kind Kathleen moves to the backseat and Road Warrior Piggins takes over!

Comments

  1. Bonnie HOctober 18, 2010 at 1:12 PM

    You are sooo right! I am with you, sister! Illinois IS the worst...until you go to Minnesota, where the drivers THINK you are SUPPOSED to drive in the left lane if going slower...and STILL slow down when people are merging into the right lane.

    The funniest thing about the Illinois observation is that it was so bad in this state that we passed a law against it!!!! Like so many things in Illinois these days, that obviously doesn't work.

    The following are Ph.D. based research findings about this as well: 85% of the people driving in the left lane are YOUNG WOMEN...girls, if you will. Yep, its true. That research was conducted over a two year period, from Monticello to Champaign on Rte. 72, with NO GOVERNMENTAL FUNDING. Some might call it anecdotal evidence; I call it qualitative evidence.

    The best way to get them over? Get a semi behind them....scares them to death!

    Bonnie

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

It's not a popularity contest, but ...

The "I'll Nevers" of growing older

  Years ago as a freelance writer, I submitted an essay entitled "The I'll Nevers of Parenting". It was a list, mostly, of things I had said prior to having children and the crow I was then eating because of the stupidity of the claims. You know little pearls of 'wisdom' that only someone who hasn't experienced the joys of  parenting could utter, like: I will never yell at my child in public or I will never let my child eat dinner in front of the television or my children will never stay up past 9 pm. I yelled at my children (usually when we were both tired and totally irrational!) in public. One time, as we were in the drop off lane at school with a long line of cars behind us, the boys hoped out of the car but Delaney was insisting on something that for the life of me I cannot recall and I was insisting that she get out of the van. We crept along, van door still open, until I got to the end of the line and yelled at the top of my voice, "Delaney get the...
Post a Comment
Read more

Ch ... Ch ... Chemo

I was ready. I was prepared. The potential side-effect list was long and one I'd had some familiarity when John went through his treatment.  So I gathered my arsenal. I had my compazine, zofran and antivan. I had my ginger chewables and chicken noodle soup. I was armed and potentially dangerous. So, chemo day with the toxic chemo cocktail starting to do it's job, I envisioned it as either PacMan, eating away at the cancer cells or a Chia Pet, allowing my good cells to thrive. With these visions, (that aren't quite Christmas Eve sugar plums dancing) and tired from the chemo, I went to bed early. Friday, under the watchful eye of my caregiving hubby, I slept most of the day away. Not really hungry but not nauseous either. I spent the majority of the day horizontal on the couch listening to my book on Audible (despite the sleep timer, I probably missed 1/3 of what I 'read'), dozing, answering calls and texts, and snacking.  Perhaps the highlight of the ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Struggling to not feel like a failure

Okay all of you 'struggling to stand' or 'not wanting to have to use a wheelchair' or others that look upon using a wheelchair as a symbol of failure, you're about to get punched. Punched in the figurative sense. I am about to go on my soap box and my Irish is up which means that I'm fairly peeved (though I've been mulling this over for awhile so I'm not as angry as I once was, which means there will be fewer expletives and a kinder tone). If you've read this blog or know me at all, you know that I did not go easily into using a wheelchair as my primary mode of transport. I too, may have had a little bit of your attitude about the wheelchair being sign of failure or of having given up. My sister, Kerri, helped put it in a different light. She said, and I'm paraphrasing here, "It's actually an energy saver since walking is stressful and you're worried about falling - using a wheelchair will take away a lot of that stress. You will hav...
Post a Comment
Read more